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Everybody Sounds Insane to Someone Who Doesn’t Drink Coffee

Hi, my name is Johnnie, and I don't like coffee.

(PAUSE FOR ALL THE GASPS TO SUBSIDE)

I never have.  I don't like the flavor, the smell, how it tastes when someone you're kissing drank it...the only bit that's okay is the first 10 second when the bag is opened and you get that initial smell of the beans.  After that, get it away.

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Robert Marquardt/Getty Images
Robert Marquardt/Getty Images
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Free Beer & Hot Wings: Beard Transplants Are Growing in Popularity

Some guys can grow sweet beards. Some can't.

And then there are the guys that can't, but still try anyway and it just looks like a patchwork quilt on their face. And let's face it: beards are in these days!

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The Strokes
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The Strokes finish new album

Hipsters rejoice!  The Strokes have finished recording their new album!

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