I followed a link from one of my friends on Facebook today, even though it took me to Cosmopolitan magazine's website.

Why?

Because it was titled "Signs a Woman is Horny!"

What could possibly be a better thing to learn?

Wow, women are complex. Guys, here are some tips from a chick mag, to help us out!

Signs a woman is horny range from:

  • You are the person who initiates thigh touching on a date.
  • You're touching everyone a little too much.

to

  • Carrying condoms around in your purse, in case you trip and fall onto a penis.
  • Telling everyone how much Tequila makes you horny, as you down shots.

I like some of the funny things in the article, like "staring at bulges", "taking the batteries out of the Swiffer and putting them in your vibrator", "Shaving/trimming/lotioning every part of your body"…even "not caring how dirty your place is when taking someone home".

Although I have to say, ladies…a little more open, up front behavior might be easier.  At least for guys.

Oh, and how do you know when a guy is horny?

  • Duh, he's a dude; … we're always horny!  Even when we're asleep.  Really.  The only time we're not thinking about how we're going to get sex is WHILE we're having sex.
  • See above.  Seriously, …always.

Ladies, how do you express your horny-ness?  Is it something subtle, or do you come right out with it?