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Johnnie Walker

I've never been good at filling these things out, but here it goes. I like long walks in cold mountain air, preferably with snow on the ground. I enjoy drinking fine soda by the crackling fire, and deep tissue massage. I hope to one day grow up an become and astronaut, so I can fly to Venus to see if that's really where women come from. If it's true, I'll bring one back for you, too. Unless it's a dude you want, and then you're out of luck...sorry. My favorite month is October, because Halloween is the best holiday ever! It allows me to openly proclaim my love and obsession with scary movies without being seen as some sort of lunatic. Okay, not too much of a lunatic. I'm a huge fan of rock and metal music, and you'll often hear me blasting the control room speakers into oblivion every night during my show. My engineer doesn't like me very much, since he has to fix them. Sorry, Mike.

Joe Sold His House and Halloween Candy Plans – FBHW Segment 16

Today on Segment 16, the guys talk about the tree planted at Joe's house, blowing leaves, leaf blowers, Joe's home selling, and then meandered onto Halloween candy.

The guys love Halloween candy.

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The Best Porn Halloween Experience You Could Ever Have

Here's a great way to celebrate Halloween tonight, by checking out a movie that spawned a different kind of live event. In 2011, a great event was held around the porn parody of The Exorcist. The movie is called the XXXorcist, and an event was planned to re-enact the movie in "Splattervision"!

And yes, that means green vomit spewing into the crowd gathered to watch a priest bang the devil out of a hottie.

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Category: Humor, Movies Tags: , , ,
Steve Vai in GR
Steve Vai in GR (photo Johnnie Walker)

Steve Vai Played All the Notes at the Orbit Room on Friday Night

Hi, my name is Johnnie, and I'm a guitar addict. I love guitar music, guitars, guitar-related things, people named after guitars...I have a problem. So when Steve Vai announced a stop here in Grand Rapids on his 25th Anniversary Tour for Passion and Warfare, I knew I'd be there! And I knew it would be a great show!

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Wayland Judgement Zone Part 2 and War Memorial Crime Update – FBHW Segment 16

Today on Segment 16, the guys finish going through all the local bands that submitted videos to get onto the Wayland show at the Intersection on November 23rd. The guys picked some of their favorites, and then...figured out how they would pick their top band for the show.

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Dream Theater rocked The Astonishing
Dream Theater rocked The Astonishing (photos Johnnie Walker)

Dream Theater Brought All the Prog to DeVos on Monday Night

Monday night, October 24th, prog metal titans Dream Theater hit Devos for a special performance of their new album, The Astonishing, in its entirety. No opening act, just this massive prog epic, all the way through. Two-and-a-half hours of an immersive story, with some of the most talented musicians to walk the earth.

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‘The Butterfly Effect 3′ – Michigan Horror Movies for Halloween # 12

Next up on my list of Michigan Horror Movies for Halloween is the third installment of The Butterfly Effect. Subtitled "Revelations", this movies seems a bit more straightforward than the original, where every time Ashton Kutcher goes back in time, his life gets more and more screwed up. This time, a different guy goes back, and seems to have his s*** together a bit better.

Okay, not really, there has to be some kind of conflict, right?

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Cover 2

The Great Townsquare Grand Rapids Tiny Pumpkin Carving Contest

Earlier this month, several of us were attending the wedding of one of ours, Julie. As part of her table decorations, she had these super tiny pumpkins at each place setting, and being the DJ jerks we are, we promptly stole some to make a silly video. FREE STUFF!

We decided to have a contest to see if we could carve these tiny, tiny pumpkins for Halloween, and who could do it best!

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Wayland Local Band Entries-Total Judgement Zone Part 1 – FBHW Segment 16

Today on Segment 16, the guys begin to go through and watch all the band entries for the Wayland Hometown Holiday Extravaganza contest. Which bands will they like, which will they hate, and how much trash are they going to talk about all of them?

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People at Theater
Just imagine what they're seeing right now, or think of a scene from the most recent porn you watched, and apply this reaction. (Fuse/Thinkstock)

The Top 10 Porn Stars from the State of Michigan

Why, yes. Yes, there are. Some of them you've even heard of, which is always good. No one wants to be in a conversation with people and they make fun of you because your state hasn't produced any good porn stars. Jeesh, what kind of loser would that make you?

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Michigan Football is Good and What is a Drain Commissioner? FBHW Segment 16

Today on Segment 16, the guys talk about a story that says that winning football for Western Michigan is good for everyone, which leads to many more football and college stories.

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Burger and Fries
Burger and Fries (photo Johnnie Walker)
[ Has Named Michigan’s Best French Fries – Do You Agree?

Recently, has posted the French Fries from each state that are the best, or the ones "everyone is talking about". Which equates to the same thing, I guess. They scoured Foursquare for probably minutes to compile their list, and they've posted each state's result.

Where are Michigan's best fries?

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