I will proudly stand and declare my hatred for mayo, ranch dressing, sour cream, even whipped cream. I'm just not into that stuff. Keep it off my food, keep it away from my food. If I wanted a gooey condiment to take over the flavor of everything else on my plate, I'd just order a plate of that. I actually want to taste the food, and not the overpowering nastiness of the condiment.

Mayo sucks. And don't ask, "What about Miracle Whip?" It sucks, too, and is just mayo in sheep's clothing.

Everyone always tries to throw the whole, "But you like Alfredo sauce!" thing at me. That's totally different, it's cheese. Cheese is king.

Mayo is dreck. Don't smother my tasty tasty sandwich in that s***. And don't EVEN get me started on Thousand Island Dressing. All thousand of the islands suck.

BTW, the blonde girl in this video...I love her.