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Pirate with sword
If only the real guy was cool like this. (Viktor Pravdica/Thinkstock)
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The Bay City Sword and Dog Wielding Drunk is Heading to Prison

Bay City, MI resident Jeffrey M. Gwizdala pled no contest to the charges against him, for drunkenly attacking his son with a sword, and using a dog as a shield when the police came for him. At least he picked some unique weapons with which to commit his crimes, right?

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Category: Michigan News, News Tags: , , , ,
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Illegal Speed Limits Could Set Free a Drunk Driving Criminal – FBHW Segment 16

Today on Segment 16, the guys check in on a story that's almost too crazy to believe. Because local speed limits in Michigan have been set illegally in a lot of places, the screw up could set free a drunk driver who was arrested carrying an illegal weapon!

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Van Banger
Van Banger Michael Henson (via Montgomery County Jail)
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Drunk Ohio Moron Tries to Bang a Parked Van – Still Can’t Get Any

On Tuesday, an Ohio man was arrested after "attempting to have sex with a parked van". Seeing as how it was an "attempt", and not "successfully having sex with a van", it sounds like the van wasn't really into it, and didn't help out. No lube, no foreplay, probably didn't even buy the van dinner.

I didn't think Ohio women could be THAT scary-looking, for dudes to choose a van instead!

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Category: Humor, News Tags: , , ,
Google
Google
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Michigan High School Lacrosse Players Face Charges in Guinea Pig Mutilation

Players on the Grosse Ile High School boy's lacrosse team have been under investigation for torturing and killing a guinea pig before a game.

The Detroit Free Press reports that Tanner Coolsaet, 18, and Michael Roth, 17, have each been charged with two counts of killing/torturing an animal and conspiracy to kill/torture an animal by the Wayne County Prosecutor's Office.

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Category: Michigan News Tags: ,
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More Details Surface on the Wyoming Arsonist – FBHW Segment 16 [Video]

Today on Segment 16, more details surface about the arsonist in Wyoming, MI who set fire to a fireworks store, some apartments, and stole some vehicles. Wait for the old dude in the apartment complex who almost lost his home. Best TV soundbite EVER! Thank you, WZZM.

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Broken glass in car .
assistantua/ ThinkStock
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Man Damages Dozens of Vehicles at Michigan Resort Over Memorial Day Weekend

Vacationers looking to have a relaxing Memorial Day Weekend in at Grand Traverse Resort got an unpleasant surprise Sunday morning.

MLive reports that a 19-year-old caused more than $10,000 in damage to 30 or more cars in the hotel's parking lot, police say.

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Criminal Charges for a Good Samaritan? Free Beer and Hot Wings Segment 16 [Video]

Today on Segment 16, the guys check out a story about a good samaritan who's possibly going to be charged for doing something nice at a vandalized cemetery! In Lacota cemetery, there had ben some vandalism of headstones, and Craig Gentry thought it was wrong and disrespectful that they'd been damaged for weeks and not repaired.

So he fixed them. For free. Like a good person would.

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Police officer arresting a woman with handcuffs
It's entirely possible the women were turned on by the use of handcuffs by the cops...but I can't prove that. (kzenon/Thinkstock)
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Don’t Send Randos to Someone Else’s Home For Sex – You Might Go To Jail

Two West Michigan women are being charged for sending random men to another woman's home looking for sex. Teresa from Grand Rapids, and Gwen from Wyoming, created an Ashley Madison profile for a Lowell woman, and sent random dudes over to her home for sex. And yes, this is illegal.

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Mr. Basketbal Might Be In Trouble – Free Beer and Hot Wings Segment 16 [Video]

Today on Segment 16, Joe learns that Mr. Basketball isn't coincidentally the name of a few different people who happened to also be good at basketball, but is an actual title given to some players in Michigan. Oh, and that one of them might be in a lot of trouble.

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Hot Wings’ Sports Knowledge is Stunning – Free Beer and Hot Wings Segment 16 [Video]

Today on Segment 16, the guys learned all about Hot Wings' amazing knowledge of basketball, and sports in general. Remember, "the less you know the better you do". Or something. Knowledge which fails him again and again when it comes to picking brackets every year.

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Free Beer and Hot Wings Segment 16 – Stupid Bank Robbers [Video]

Today's Free Beer and Hot Wings Segment 16 kicks off with a discussion of weather, and its affect on the GRD Pond Hockey Classic getting pushed back a couple weeks. Get more information on the Pond Hockey Classic, and you can still get your team signed up. This then turned to the news story of the bank robber who refused to move to a different area for his targets, and has been arrested.

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BlakeDavidTaylor/ ThinkStock
BlakeDavidTaylor/ ThinkStock
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Muskegon Heights Woman Allegedly Offered Undercover Officer $200 to Kill Her Ex-Husband

A Muskegon Heights woman has been charged with solicitation to commit murder after allegedly trying to hire an assassin to kill her ex-husband.

Fox 17 reports that 40-year-old Evelyn Smith allegedly offered an undercover officer $200 to commit the murder. 

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