Ok listen to how freaking nuts this on is! Another one from the bar stool. (yea, I drink a lot) Over in China, a 32 year old pregnant chick hired a 44 year old mid wife to help her have her baby.....(mid wives assist in the birth of a child) So after this 32 year old chick had her baby, she gave the mid wife a $15 tip, which is not nearly enough money for the services the mid wife provided.

That of course pissed off the mid wife, her name was Zhang Chen by the way. So Zhang Chen got revenge by sewing the chicks butt shut! Yes, she sewed the new moms sphincter shut so she couldn't poop! Now, you might ask yourself, how could that happen? Good question! Here is how. The mom had a hemorrhoid and as she was giving birth to her new baby, and the hemorrhoid burst. (a hemorrhoid is a big vain that sticks out your butt by the way) So the mid wife offered to sew it up for her (and this was after she got the crappy tip) so the mom said, " why thank you, yes please sew that hemorrhoid up for me.”

And while the mid wife was down there sewing this chicks blown hemorrhoid, she just kept sewing and sewing and sewing and sewed her butt shut! Hahhahaha! Can you imagine going to your doctor and being like " yea, doc, I seem to be having problems with my bowel movements", and the doctor was like " yea, that cuz someone sewed your butt shut"! So remember that girls, if you ever hire a mid wife, make sure you tip her good, or you might get your butt sewed shut!