Best Of Recoil Magazine – June 6th

Phoenix, Ariz. – Sources close to Derek Fredricks and Leana Harrison reported this week that the young couple’s inspired post-fight resolution to communicate in a more frequent, candid and straightforward manner can lead to no good.

Allendale, Mich. – Grand Valley State University sophomore Rich Burkman told friends Monday that despite being arrested for illegal possession of prescription pills Friday night, the arresting officer was actually pretty cool toward him throughout the process of pulling over, searching, arresting, booking and fingerprinting the 20-year-old communications major. “The cop turned out to be a pretty cool guy, actually,” said Burkman.

Menlo Park, Calif. – According to Facebook marketing executives, results of a internally conducted evaluation indicated that the revolutionary social media device is largely responsible for helping forge almost as many relationships as it is helping forever destroy.

Bitely, Mich. – His already robust alcohol consumption having increased uncontrollably during the weeks following the recent breakup of his five-year marriage, heavy construction equipment operator Dan Reed arose Sunday morning with a vague recollection that a large number of his friends and family members attempted to stage a surprise intervention on Reed’s behalf the previous evening.

Philadelphia, Penn. – Television news meteorologist Kent Moore, enraged by rumors of his wife Karrie’s infidelity moments before his live broadcast of the 6 p.m. weather report, forecasted that a “major shitstorm of epic proportion” would reign down upon his cheating wife before late evening Friday.