9 Hilarious Beer Names That Will Fill Your Liver With Delight
WGRD and beer go together like crystal meth labs and explosions. We love beer in the truest sense of the word. All beers are not created equal, however. The same goes for beer names. A stellar beer name can make or break a new independent beer. Ready your brain for some beer names that are filled with alcohol, hops, barley and hilarity. And if you're into beer as much as we are, don't forget to get your liver on down to the 2013 Summer WGRD Craft Beer Festival!
Our world is full of beers, but up until now there was a serious shortage in beers named after giant-ass prehistoric creatures. Iguanadon beer transports you to a time when fear-induced urine would stain your khakis, due to the massive and hungry meat-eating nightmare-lizard that is hungrily chasing you through the jungles. That friends, is total relaxation.
Every beer needs a spokesperson. Some choose athletes or celebrities. Other beer manufacturers let animals represent their brand. Duff Beer has the finest representative of them all, Homer Simpson. Nothing cleanses your brain of the funk of a day in Springfield quite like a cool and frothy Duff.
After you have mastered the art of guzzling delicious bubbly hop juice, you quickly rise up the ranks in the alcohol culture and eventually come to the conclusion that you need something to take the edge off of your bad case of "the shakies." Enter Delirium Tremens beer, the brew that will help you keep your drinkin' hand steady.
In all groups of men there is a guy that is there to serve as retriever for your boozery. He is most commonly known as the beer-b**ch. This is a man who is truly doing the Lord's work. Selflessly, he brings forth the delicious liquid that actually gives your liver something to do. Well, now you can tell your designated beer-b**ch to go snag you an icy Bierbitzch. Thanks once again to Germany for that beautiful and rich language of theirs.
Sometimes, extreme inebriation just kind of sneaks up on ya. Before you know it, the only word you are capable of saying is "dude." That's where this beer comes in handy. As long as you can verbalize that one single word, you can keep the joy-machine turning.
When it comes to delicious and buttery goodness, lobster has always brought it in plentiful doses. When it comes to great times that are doubled with blurred vision and poor decision making, beer has always laid it down nice and proper. Naturally, combining these two worlds was a stellar move. Also, it's cool to see a naked chick with a giant lobster on her back for the label.
A nice beer-buzz pairs beautifully with a screening of any of the works of Monty Python. Through this philosophy was born Monty Python's Holy Ail. One can only hope that drinking this beverage will make your slurred speech sound just like a British accent.
Convincing your wife to be okay with bringin' in a few more wives is tricky. It's so tricky that you may want to get the old lady nice and drunk before you run your new lifestyle choice by her. If you get her drinkin' this beer, it's name will facilitate an easy way to bring polygamy into the conversation.
When you think gardens, you picture old ladies tending tomato vines and not realizing the overtly sexual manner in which they are cleaning off cucumbers. Gardens don't really bring an edge, unless of course they are a garden chock full of hoes. This beer's name probably means something completely different in Belgian, which proves the age old theory that the Belgian language is packed to the brim with giggles. Refresh yourself with an ice-cold Hoegaarden and let it implant thoughts of hoes sprouting up from the soil into your brain.