Lonely Ted Creates GoFundMe Page to Help Him Get a Hooker

Poor Ted Loete, he claims he hasn't been getting any recently, so he's decided to turn to random strangers for some action. No, he's not soliciting for people to come bang him. That would be just a dating site. He's decided to be completely open, and start a GoFundMe campaign, to get people to help him raise $200 for a hooker!

You have to admire this guy's honesty, and brevity. He doesn't go on and on about his horrible dating life (like I do), he just gets right to it:

Haven't had much action lately looking for people to donate to buy me a hooker

via Ted Loete's GoFundMe

Right at the moment, he's up to $10, so if you could help him out, he would really love to get himself laid (so far, there have only been two donations - one from his cousin, and one from someone who goes by the name "Chicken F---er.) If he's just looking for some action, maybe he should start going to Buffalo Bills games, and look for this girl who likes to give handies to random strangers!

See, I'm a f-in genius matchmaker!

Oh, and if you're a cop, at least you now know someone you can follow and help bust a prostitute or two.