Can Any Grand Rapids Dog Lovers Help Me Out?

Meet Tucker (or as I call him "Mother Tucker") reason I constantly call him a mother tucker is cause he can't seem to stay out of s___.  Whether it's diggin' up moles, eating wild shrooms and hallucinating, or carrying tampons around the house like a trophy after digging thru a purse, damn mutt can't seem to stay out of trouble.

Tucker is a 4 yr old Beagle, Bassett, and god knows what else mix (translation: not a good fit in our thoroughbred Dogs only Rockford neighborhood) who because of his odd shape can't run straight, howls loudly at any unlikely intruder (squirrels-birds) and thinks rolling in his own pee stains on the grass is somehow an attractive scent to carry around the house.

Despite the high maintenance, I've become attached to this oddly shaped and flawed character of an animal.  I can prove this cause the son of a b___ dog just cost me $135 at the vets because of some sort of eye problem. Vet can't say for sure what it was but he could sure prescribe some damn costly eye drop treatment.  "Must of been something he got into" he shrugged when I asked what happened.

Here's where I could use your help.  Because Tucker isn't the brightest bulb in the pack I'm sure he'll race back outside and get right back into whatever it was that caused this problem in the first time.  I SURE don't want to take em back for more $135 eye treatment care so if you can help, I would appreciate it.  Has your dog ever come back from being outside with his eyes nearly shut and then proceed to run into walls and stairs because he's squinting so bad?  If so, what did you deduct your dog was getting into that caused the problem? Any help is appreciated and in the meantime I'll continue putting the unaffordable eye drops in.  Damn Dawg.