The 10 Weirdest “Sexy” Halloween Costumes I’ve Found (Today)
Halloween is almost here! And while I love Halloween and dressing up and candy and all of the things that come with Halloween, I despise Halloween costume shopping. Generally, I just go into Janna’s closet of previous years’ costume and find something that works and call it a day. This year, I thought I’d shop around and see what I could find, and instead of being inspired, I’m just confused. I came across 10 of the strangest “sexy” costumes ever. “Sexy carrot”? For real?
In fact, let’s start with Sexy Carrot, shall we? For one thing, it’s just a dress with a carrot on it. You are not, actually dressed like a carrot. For another thing, why? Are you hoping to attract a grown man dressed as a bunny? Because that’s weird.
Next up? Sexy Sock Monkey! Yup, sock monkey. Probably the least sexy thing in the world. How do you make a sock monkey sexy? Is this sexy? I’m confused.
Number three on my list (granted this are in no specific order) we have Sexy French Fries? I mean, there are times when I think that french fries are pretty sexy, but I don’t know that I’d ever dress like a container of them. Do you then also have to pour salt all over yourself? Or get yourself lodged between the car seat and door? Because those are the other things I think of when I think of french fries.
Looking for something whimsical? How about a sexy Troll Doll? Ok, seriously, there is nothing – NOTHING – sexy about a troll doll. The end. Go home costume maker, you’re drunk.
Sexy Hambuger. Why in the world are so many of these modeled after food? Also, hamburgers aren’t sexy. Not even a little bit.
What’s sexier than a killer whale? Everything is sexier than a killer whale! No. Don’t do this. Why does this eve exist?
And, we’re back to sexy food. Sexy pizza, anyone? I wonder if it’s Chicago or New York style?
How about a sexy dolphin? I mean, dolphins are smart and all. And they’re pretty cool to see up close and personal. But, dressing yourself up like the stuffed dolphin that my niece had when she was three does not make you sexy. Not even a little bit.
Apparently this is a sexy cookie. This doesn’t even look like a cookie. You didn’t even try.
And last but not least, we have “Sexy Unicorn”. I don’t even have to say anything about this one. I’m speechless, in fact. And kind of scared.