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Billy Ocean Must Really Love ‘Star Wars’

Back in the ’80s, ‘Star Wars’ was all the rage, and so was cocaine. We’re not accusing Billy Ocean or any of his crew of doing cocaine while making this insane video, but we can’t think of any other reasonable explanation. Seriously.

There’s a lot going on that just doesn’t make sense when taken as a whole. Why is some weird, bowlegged alien riding a horse on the beach? That alone might not seem abnormal, especially for a music video from the ’80s. But he rides his horse to some Mos Eisley-inspired bar inside a cave.

But the strange cantina must be on some distant world. How can we tell? Well, there are some metallic tubes that totally don’t look like heating ducts outside the entrance of the cave. And once we get inside the bar, we see all sorts of what must be aliens. One of them even has a television for a head! He/she/it can’t possibly be from Earth, even if that TV does look suspiciously Earth-like.

The horse-riding alien turns out to be a super-creepy weirdo who makes insanely gross kissy faces at the young lady in the bar. But not to worry: Billy Ocean, in a vaguely Han Solo-ish outfit, pops out of the Phantom Zone, a-la ‘Superman 2,’ to save the day. Thank goodness, and the local drug dealer, for this music video.

P.S. We don’t have any reason to believe Ocean was actually doing cocaine, other than the absolute weirdness of this video and the over-abundance of the drug during the ’80s. We’ll gladly speak with Ocean if he’d like to talk about the making of this video, or anything else.

Next Lost & Found: Rock Music Is Satanic and Cool

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