Britt Hayes is a writer, movie lover, and sensible sweater enthusiast living in Austin, Texas. She watches too much TV and never eats her vegetables.
Britt Hayes
Fox Reportedly Adds Six Mystery Marvel Movies to Their Schedule
Although X-Men: Apocalypse and the latest Fantastic Four reboot were fairly notable disappointments for 20th Century Fox, the studio is doing pretty, pretty, prett-ay good in the Marvel department. Thanks to the critical and commercial success of Deadpool and Logan, Fox’s X-universe has been revitalized, and even if the next X-Men movie underperforms, they still have New Mutants, X-Force and Deadpool 2 on the way — and it looks as though that may be the tip of the iceberg.
We Almost Lived in a World Where Jeff Goldblum Was the Voice of Apple’s Siri
We don’t really need further evidence that we are living in a total nightmare (or an alternate timeline, if you’re one of Those People), but then a piece of news comes along that forces us to confront the true horror of reality by offering a painful glimpse at a beautiful life that could’ve been — and never was (at least not in this timeline, if you’re one of Those People). Today, it’s the heartbreaking revelation that Jeff Goldblum — national treasure, king of the silver foxes and master of the universe — could have been the voice of Siri on your iPhone. In the mournful words of the wise Adele, WE COULD’VE HAD IT AAAALLLLLL.
A Man Is Suing His Date for Texting During ‘Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2’
It’s a story fit for a mediocre rom-com: A 37-year-old man from Austin, Texas is suing a woman for texting during a screening of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. And not just some random stranger, either — she was his date. In what he describes as “a first date from hell,” the woman allegedly refused to put her phone away and continued to text until he finally suggested she take the conversation outside. She did just that, taking her phone out of the theater, through the lobby, and out to the parking lot, where she drove off and left her date without a ride home.
Jeff Goldblum, Uh, Finds a Way Back for ‘Jurassic World 2’
Holy freakin’ cow — that is basically the only practical response to tonight’s late-breaking news. Jeff Goldblum is officially returning to the land of the dinosaurs to reprise his iconic role as Dr. Ian Malcolm in the upcoming Jurassic World sequel. Will he remove his shirt? Will he deliver the signature goofy laugh that spawned one of the greatest YouTube remixes of all time? Will he be bringing any of his former co-stars (like Laura Dern, who recently expressed an interest) with him? We have, uh, so many questions.
‘Star Wars: Episode IX’ Gets an Official Release Date
When Lucasfilm initially announced Star Wars: Episode IX, the tentative plan was to release it in theaters on May 23, 2019 — that date was never confirmed, however, and when the studio shifted their releases to December (with the exception of the young Han Solo spinoff), everyone just assumed that it was only a matter of time before Episode IX’s release date was changed, too. That’s definitely not the case, as Disney and Lucasfilm have announced a metric Jabba-ton of new release dates, officially confirming the final film in their Star Wars trilogy for May 24, 2019.
You Need to Hear David Hasselhoff’s Ridiculous ‘Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2’ Song
Young folks are probably best acquainted with David Hasselhoff in the ironic sense, like some kitschy relic unearthed in their parents’ attic during a recon mission to find the most absurd pop culture fossil for their growing collection of dank memes. But us olds know The Hoff as a beloved ’80s icon, star of Baywatch and Knight Rider, and a weird German pop music icon — so it’s not entirely surprising that James Gunn solicited Hasselhoff to help record a song for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. And it is special.
What’s Expiring From Netflix Instant: May 2017
You know the drill: Every month, Netflix Instant delivers a glorious bounty of new titles for us to stream until we can’t feel our butts anymore. But just as Netflix giveth, so must they taketh away, and with each new month comes a list of movies and TV shows that are set to expire from the streaming service — some temporarily, some perhaps forever. Think of it as your monthly reminder to stop procrastinating with that bloated queue of yours.
Don Rickles, Iconic Comedian and Actor, Dead at 90
Don Rickles’ talents were seemingly limitless: An outrageous insult comic, a gifted dramatic actor, a welcome sight on stages and screens (big and small), and a constant presence whose career endured for decades, often surpassing his contemporaries. And now he’s gone on to join them, as the legendary Rickles passed away today, April 6, at the age of 90.
Sylvester Stallone Exits ‘The Expendables’ Franchise
They might be called The Expendables, but the team is losing one of its key members as Sylvester Stallone is officially parting ways with the franchise he helped create. Following a crucial dispute over the creative direction for the fourth chapter in the ensemble action series, Stallone has walked away from the project — and from what would be his biggest paycheck yet, which says something substantial about his stake in the franchise.
Classic Disney Songs Get the Heavy Metal Treatment on This Wild New Cover Album
Have you ever wondered what Sir Elton John’s “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” from The Lion King soundtrack would sound like if it had been re-recorded by Ozzy Osbourne? Or maybe you’ve always loved the title track from Beauty and the Beast, but thought that Angela Lansbury’s genteel vocals would sound just a hair better if she had the shrieking warble of a demon veering down the highway at 90 miles per hour — you know, like if the artwork from a heavy metal record came to life. If you’ve ever asked yourself these questions or, “What would it sound like if Dokken covered The Little Mermaid?,” then Disney has the album for you.
‘It’ Trailer: Stephen King’s Horror Classic Is Back to Haunt You Again
Horror fans have been waiting for months. Stephen King fans have been waiting for years. And after a week of teasers and sneak peeks, the first trailer for It, Andres Muschietti’s highly-anticipated adaptation of King’s classic horror novel (or one half of it, anyway) is finally here to give us our best look yet at that divisive new take on the iconic evil clown. Beep beep, we’re all gonna float.
What’s Leaving Netflix Instant: March 2017
Just as dozens of new titles are being added to the Netflix Instant library each month, so must several others disappear. As you get ready for all the great new films and TV shows arriving in March, now would be a good time to make some room in your queue — starting with all the titles that are expiring from the streaming service next month, including favorites like Jaws and a pair of DC’s animated Justice League films.