At block parties and other such gatherings, there are certain behaviors you want to avoid. Certain things can encroach on the good times being had by other party goers. While there are many of these behaviors, here are a few key ones you need to avoid to make sure things don't get too weird.

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    Bizarre Aggression

    One of the funniest ways that you can totally freak out a total stranger at a party is by invading their personal space and disrespecting their beverage. Simply look over at them with a cold dead stare. Really lock eyes with them. Make sure you don't blink! Now bi**h-slap their beer or cocktail as hard as you can to the ground. Try to spill some on them if possible. A nice touch to this is to scream something in a high pitch psycho voice like "She's not my mother!!!" Something that can't be deciphered is always good too!

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    Unexplainable Lengthy Grins

    This is a fun one! Simply grin at a random person sharing in the spirited fun across the bar from you for an unusually long amount of time. This is sure to end up in a fight, or at the very least, they will leave the bar feeling really weird!

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    Asking Uncouth Questions

    'How much money do you make?' 'Do you prescribe to the practice of colon cleansing?' Is that your sister? She's hot!!!' 'Will you be a Scientologist with me?' These are all questions that could break some one's comfort zone as well as the ice!

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    Loud Crying

    Nothin' will kill everybody's buzz like a blubbering drunk man wiping his tears away in the stale light at the corner of the party!

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    Unwelcome Nudity

    Need to get out of a bad situation? Is a maniacal alpha male blacked out with tequila-induced rage and taking it out on you? Take your shirt, your shoes, and your sox off and bark like a dog at him. Snort, pour salt on your head and kick your feet too. This will daze his booze-rattled brain long enough to make your hasty retreat. On the way out, tell the bartender he said he's got your tab. Be careful though. If this madman didn't completely erase this memory from his cerebellum through the consumption of the tequila worm, he could try to critically injure you! Lay low!

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    Unnecessary Moshing

    Walk up to the DJ, Band, or jukebox(shoulder-checking people the entire way.) Request a hard-core death metal song(preferably something Norwegian or a song by Cannibal Corpse.) Dive off the bar utilizing your own amateur freestyle parkour skills and begin moshing with completely unsuspecting strangers! After your gauntlet of chaos has reached it's pinnacle, start yelling and getting psyched up at the oldest guy you can find at the bar! Throw the horns up, run outta there and bask in your success!

    Entertainment District Kalamazoo
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    Awkward Toasts


    This is especially fun to do to a wedding party or large family group in the bar. Simply stroll up to an unfamiliar group of absolute strangers. If someone in the group is talking, interrupt them by raising your glass and banging on it with a spoon really loud. Say something like "Hear Ye, Hear Ye!" if the person refuses to stop talking. Now toast to 4 things that have no attachment whatsoever to your new friends. Your dog 'biscuit's' survival of a run-in with a mountain lion. Your grandmother's recent take down of the coverall at the bingo hall! That will make them scratch their heads!

    Entertainment District Kalamazoo