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12 Things You’ll Need For Wingstock 2011 Today

Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images

Wingstock 2011 goes down later today and as with any great concert you”ll want to make sure you’re prepared.  First of all, it goes without saying that you’ll need tickets. Get them HERE or walk up to the 5/3rd box office and buy em – either way, you gonna need some tickets.  Now we can go over the list:

1) Bring $7 for parking. You’ll be glad you did when after the show you attempt the loooong trek  back to your ride dodging traffic on West River Drive or slipping in mud soaked fields.

2) A camera on your phone.  We want to see the drunken pictures posted and without proof of you being an idiot, we have no source of entertainment and no one to point fingers at and laugh.

3) Bring $10 bucks to get the real drunk chick next to you to lift her shirt and then re-do step two.

4) Bring $15 for a commemorative Wingstock T-Shirt.  Ladies tanks also available (buy a ladies tank then review #3).

5) Bring $20 for bribing our sales staff to sit in our client suite.  Say something like “I plan on spending 1/2 billion dollars on your radio station this year” while at the same time palming the $20 spot in their hand.  We’re so far behind budget this quarter they’ll gladly accept it and “voila” you’re sitting all fancy in a suite.  Remember to stay in character though by occasionally mumbling “my budgets are s___ this year”…should be enough to keep you from being kicked out.

6) Bring an idea for a cheesy Producer Joe stunt you’ve thought of – make sure you talk to Joe directly cause he loves it.  If a thousand of you do this, it’ll be a great night.

7) A hoodie. Not necessarily to keep you warm after the sun goes down but more to cover your ears when the dumb ass drunk behind you keeps screaming “Free Bird”.

8) Perfect balance. You’ll need it while attempting to navigate through the crowd all-the-while attempting to keep two beers (poured right to the rim) from spilling.  Whatever you do, DO NOT spill or drop a perfectly good beer!

9) Your smart phone. You’ll need to update your status periodically on FB & Twitter.  Nothing beats all your friends who are working or “lamed out” on ya, seeing YOU having the time of your life!

10) Some common sense. We’re giving away an autographed guitar signed by ALL the bands at Wingstock and someones gotta win it.  So before you have way too many beers and can’t remember even why you’re there – go to the GRD table the minute you get there and sign up to be a GRD Freeloader so you can win it!

11) A perfected leer.  The GRD Alterna-chicks will be there and always available for photos.  Get one and post it you stud.

12) NOTE: for drunken crowd surfers ONLYA helmet. In case we get tired of having to reach up and feel your ass for the hundreth time, we wanna have the option of just dropping you.  If you’re wearing a helmet , you’re less likely to wake up 3 hours later with a concussion.

ENJOY the show!

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