It was just a casual comparison messaged by one of my Fantasy Football league members that made me do a double-take. During the draft process last night while heavily focusing on my 192nd pick of the draft (a very important one btw) the line "Metallica are the New England Patriots of Rock" was dropped. Now normally the trash talk spewed forth between league members during a snake draft is primarily ignored but this one struck a chord.  I realized there are a lot of bands who could be compared to the antics of a particular NFL team. For instance:

Van Halen are the Cleveland Browns of Rock.

Just like the Browns constantly hire and fire GM's, coaches, and office staff, so do the Van Halen brothers. One never knows who will be the lead singer.  David Lee Roth is in, wait, nope he's fired. Sammy Hagar is back in...wait never mind. Don't even get me started on the Gary Cherone (who?) era and the firings that took place during the 90's.  Both entities have suffered because of their inconsistencies and will probably always continue to do so.

KISS are the Las Vegas Raiders of Rock

The fan base for KISS and the Raiders truly carry the passion for the brand. The allegiance is strong for this one it is. All costumed up with painted faces and darkened warrior gear, the fans for both KISS and the Raiders would go to war and lay down their lives if necessary to make sure the show goes on.

AC/DC  are the Pittsburgh Steelers of Rock

There is something to be said about consistency and two of the most consistent leaders on the planet are Angus Young and Mike Tomlin. Angus has toured the world leading AC/DC with a consistent E A D chord progression of songs that have populated radio and beyond for decades. Meanwhile, Mike Tomlin has been a source of consistency in Pittsburgh never compiling a losing record during his 13 seasons as head coach. Both gentlemen look to continue their dominance for years to come.

Guns N' Roses are the Miami Dolphins of Rock

The Dolphins exploded on the scene shortly after arriving as an NFL team to claim the only (and still a record) undefeated season in the NFL.  After the celebrated undefeated 1972 season, they quickly fizzled and bar a near heroic Dan Marino performance, have never returned to that elite status since.

GNR's  album "Appetite For Destruction" was like an undefeated season in football becoming the best selling debut album of all time and the 11th overall best selling album in the U.S.  Problem was, even after two more strong releases by the band, just like the Dolphins, lightning in a bottle only struck once and the band was never able amass anything close to that again. The band eventually broke up and bar an Axl Rose fronted version in the late 90's/early 2000's nearly disappeared into obscurity.

and finally...our beloved Lions...

Detroit Lions are the Spinal Tap of Rock

Comparing our beloved Lions to a mock-u-mentary band seems at first seems well..mean but hear me out here. What other NFL team do you know of that despite its best intentions, keeps tripping over itself attempting to find success? Just like the Detroit Lions seem to find new ways to lose week in and week out, so goes the luck with the band Spinal Tap.

Aaron Rodgers throws a oft impossible to complete Hail-Mary pass in the end zone and it works, beating the Lions with no time remaining. Likewise, Spinal Tap attempts to set a serious tone with a song called "Stonehedge" when cheapened props and small dancers completely make it a colossal FAIL.   Lions lose on a penalty - Spinal tap drummer self combusts. You get the point.

Sorry Lions fans I can't do better when it comes to matching up the Lions to say...Led Zeppelin but that would've been a real stretch, unless of course you meant Dread Zeppelin. At least weed is now legal in Michigan and maybe our Dread Zeppelin Lions could help make us chill every Sunday we spend watching them..

Enter your number to get our free mobile app