Phantom Pooper Strikes at Whitmore Lake
Someone authorities should be calling "The Phantom Pooper" has struck again at the Whitmore Lake Athletic field, about 10 miles north of Ann Arbor. They're not calling him that, but it would be a great name for him. I say "him", because I doubt a woman would be pooping on a school field.
The Whitmore Lake Junior Football team coaches found not only poop, but also toilet paper on the field, so they know it's not a dog. Unless someone has taught their pooch to carry and use toilet paper when it goes. Which would be freaking cool, by the way.
The school district has notified the Northfield Township Police, so the hunt is on for "The Phantom Pooper"!
Most disturbing quote from the superintendent of the schools?
"Unfortunately...it happens," he said.
You got that right...this is not the first time they've found the results of human pooping on their field! WTF is going on in Whitmore Lake that people just routinely poop on the grass at a school field? They can't claim they just suddenly had to go, and squatted in a field in order to not poop their pants...THEY BROUGHT TOILET PAPER WITH THEM!
This is a premeditated pooping. This heinous offense cannot stand! Haha, it could squat, though.
If you know The Phantom Pooper, I almost want to tell you to NOT turn them in. I'd kind of like to see how far this will go. How many times can he poop there before they get caught. This will be fun!