How to Tell When Men and Women Are Horny

I followed a link from one of my friends on Facebook today, even though it took me to Cosmopolitan magazine's website.

Why?

Because it was titled "Signs a Woman is Horny!"

What could possibly be a better thing to learn?

Wow, women are complex. Guys, here are some tips from a chick mag, to help us out!

Signs a woman is horny range from:

You are the person who initiates thigh touching on a date.
You're touching everyone a little too much.

Carrying condoms around in your purse, in case you trip and fall onto a penis.
Telling everyone how much Tequila makes you horny, as you down shots.

I like some of the funny things in the article, like "staring at bulges", "taking the batteries out of the Swiffer and putting them in your vibrator", "Shaving/trimming/lotioning every part of your body"…even "not caring how dirty your place is when taking someone home".

Although I have to say, ladies…a little more open, up front behavior might be easier. At least for guys.

Oh, and how do you know when a guy is horny?

Duh, he's a dude; … we're always horny! Even when we're asleep. Really. The only time we're not thinking about how we're going to get sex is WHILE we're having sex.
See above. Seriously, …always.

Ladies, how do you express your horny-ness? Is it something subtle, or do you come right out with it?