Detroit has a controversy going on right now with a statue, and it's not the Robocop statue. It's a statue of a goat-headed devil, Baphomet, and Christians are freaking out. It seems the Satanists are kind of freaking out, too, if you watch this news segment.

We're not too sure what's wrong with the dude they spent a lot of time talking to, but I'm sure the other Satanists are shaking their heads, screaming at the screen, "Why do you always find the most extreme lunatic you can find to put on TV?! Get one of us normal Satanists to talk, not these freaking nut jobs!"

Some of my favorite quotes from the dude in the hat, who's uncredited in the interview (probably because it's not PC to put "F****** Loony Bastard" on the news) include:

"I'm just excited to see my Lord and Saviour, Baphomet, represented in such glorious Italian stone."


"But for what is this battle raging, you ask? I don't know."


"But again I find nothing, except for sweaty, devastated loneliness, and a thousand judging eyes staring back at me from the cover of a stolen Victoria's Secret catalog. I didn't take your mail, Mrs. Pemberton! Stop asking me that! Leave me alone! Um...Satan's pretty cool!"

via, Detroit Local 4 News

I think this guy is the best person to represent ANYTHING! Let's just have him go on a rant for a product, like a chicken sandwich place, and then let him end the sales crazy with, "Um...chicken sandwiches are cool."

Apparently, the Detroit Satanists aren't going to leave the one ton bronze statue in Detroit, but they plan on taking it to the Arkansas state capitol, to place it near a monument to the Ten Commandments. They say it's not about Satanism, but the separation of church and state.

Because that's EXACTLY what I think of when I see an 8-foot-tall statue of the Devil, the separation of church and state.

97.9 WGRD logo
Enter your number to get our free mobile app

MORE: See absolutely chilling photos of empty public spaces worldwide


More From 97.9 WGRD