At last we arrive at one of  our most unusual picks of the Wingstock 2012 line up - Dokken.

But there is a reason.  Sit down and settle in kiddies as former Late 80's hairband expert JT schools ya on what the hipsters and music snobs just don't get about us members of "Hair Nation".   You see there was a time in America when unemployment was low, jobs were a plenty and gas prices weren't anywhere near $4 a gallon.

We were a young, wild and free bunch, not quite so angry like the grunge generation and certainly not self serving (yet abash) like the millennials that would follow - No Sir.  Reagan was in office and all was right with the world. But it would be this live life with reckless abandon mantra that would ultimately cause our demise (insert audio stinger HERE).

You see this Camelot world we all shared craved SOME sort of change and we felt the need to shock the world with our battle cry! So we grew our hair long and whipped it around quite sexily all-the-while wearing Spandex as tight as they could make it.  We sang about having sex with hot chicks while at the same time looking like a hot chick. (as confusing as that sounds we still somehow managed to get laid) But I digress....

Life was good my friend as radio stations across the country coerced us  into a joyous lull by trumpeting memorable anthems like "Turn Up The Radio" and "Metal Health". { Fun fact for ya - statistics proved that Metal Health could drive you mad} don't believe me?  Listen to the song.

Yet I digress again....

Like all good things - our golden goose had to have its neck wrung.  It was the spandex drought of "91" that would cause our rainbows and skittles world to come crashing down on us.  As supplies of the super tight spandex began to dwindle- more and more of us turned to denim.  Sure we tried to make it work by cutting off the sleeves of our jean jackets but it only netted in giving us this nasty "vest like" appearance.  We even cut holes in our regular jeans to try and cover up our embarrassment and avert looks of shame as Spandex supplies dried up. Some of us would wear our old super tight spandex material that was ripping and shredding under our torn jeans {fun fact for ya - the torn and tattered remnants of our spandex produced a new but short lived fad called"fishnet"} So serious was the shortage that it wouldn't be uncommon to see throngs of mullets fist fighting at docks awaiting on what turned out to be only "rumored" shipments of this delicate spandex material. Sad.

Soon with only ripped jeans and cut off T's we became angry and very disgruntled.  Life was bleak and only getting worse.  It all came to a head in 92 when an angry young man named Kurt Cobain who, disillusioned by the never ending spandex shortage, donned his dirty jeans and some scrubby Lumberjacks flannel shirt and led a revolution of anger and angst down the road.

But enough of my sad sap story here because there is hope.  I noticed that the recent spandex surplus across the world has reignited a new generation as spandex laden attire creeps back into popularity.  Witness the rebirth of a generation my friends and celebrate with me when Dokken hits the stage at Wingstock 2012!  We can do this - lets dress like women again and take back what was once ours!

ehhh....on second thought I need a beer and I'm really too tired from bustin' my hump at work all day to care anymore.   Think I'll just let bygones be bygones and live vicariously through Dokken when they get here.