dumb criminals

The threats were made in 2019 in response to a Facebook argument.

#ColdOutsideButJailIsWarm

Dumb & Dumber.

His sweatshirt says it all.

Of all the things to steal from a grocery store... Three would-be thieves grabbed a cart full of Hot Pockets and Slim Jims and then took off after knocking the store manager unconscious.

Florida man, John Balmer, was arrested at a Kmart in Hudson, Florida, on Monday. During his arrest, police noticed Balmer's shirt, which read: "Who needs drugs" in all caps. Underneath that, it read: "No, Seriously, I have drugs". And seriously, he did, according to the Pasco County Sheriff's Office. They then posted a photo of Balmer in the shirt on their Facebook page.  Read

It's becoming harder and harder to pull a good April Fool's Day prank. We blame the internet for this, as not long after you log on you are reminded of the tricky nature of April 1 and thus put your guard up.

Like so many of us have done, Ryan Hopkins made a bad decision while drunk. Unlike the rest of us, he decided to rob a Little Caesars. But the stick-up didn't go quite the way he had (probably not) planned.

Charles Ross has been caught with his pants down because his victims were caught with their pants up. Way up.

No matter how hard police tried, Raymond Garcia wouldn't *stop* fighting a stop sign. (See what we did there?) Officers in Roswell, New Mexico were responding to a report of a man fighting a stop sign, and that is exactly what they found. We aren't sure what the sign did, but it must've been pretty bad, because not even a taser could stop Garcia.

Everything was going well for burglar Cristian Villarreal-Castillo. He had just snatched a cache of small electronics from cars in a Hillsboro, OR neighborhood and then he really hit the jackpot when he was able to enter into a home through an unlocked back door. All the 20-year old had to do is not fall asleep and he would've made off with quite the haul. Unfortunately for Villarreal-Castillo, he

Oh internet. Wilst thou deliver us some serious weirdness today? YEP! In the city of Hoquiam, WA, there was a criminal walking the streets. He was a supervillain of sorts. Like most supervillains he carried a weapon vastly different than a gun. No, it wasn't a giant freeze ray or a sword made of fire. Nope, this dude was carrying with him a dead weasel... well, a marten technically.