PornHub Proves Michiganders Love Lesbian Porn – I Think That’s Smart

PornHub's marketing people are geniuses. Not only do they have great commercials, but they regularly release metrics about internet porn usage, which gets them a lot of attention. Genius. They love to show what people are searching for, and it seems most people search for Lesbian porn.

Because people are smart.

How is that smart, you ask?

It's simple.

1) The ratio of women to men is much better.

Seriously, women look SOOOOO much better naked than men do. That's just science. The penis is a dumb-looking appendage, and the more embarrassing of the genitals available.

Even women like looking at other women, and can enjoy the physical beauty of their bodies, and the grace of their movements.

Men just look awkward and clumsy...like kids who just got caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

And don't forget about the embarrassing flesh stick waving around in the air. Ridiculous.

B) With Lesbian porn, you reduce the chance for whiplash.

Seriously. Imagine the scene:

You've grabbed your stuffed unicorn with the assless chaps, the bottle of lotion, some tissues, and your ipad. You lie down and search for some great porn (not lesbian), and start your business.

When the penultimate moment arrives, the camera angle changes, or the actors(?) move, and BAM! YOU'RE LOOKING AT A GIANT PEEN. And it's looking right back at you.

You quickly jerk your head to look at the woman-parts, because the last thing your delicate ego could handle is finishing while looking at peen, and CRACK! you pull something in your neck.

Now you have to walk around work all day, unable to turn your head to the left, and you have to lie and say it's a "raquetball injury" or some s***. No one believes you. Not even the chiropractor as he's moving your vertebrae back into place.

They all know.

And they're laughing behind your back.

Be safe, be smart.

Continue watching your lesbian porn, you brilliant Michigan sex-maniac, you!