Meet the World’s First Robot Mouth Party Expert

We can't cure the common cold, or make sure other important things can be fixed, but we can damn sure get you off in an increasingly wide variety of ways. Now, on Indiegogo, you can support the Arlan Robotics Service Droid 1.0. That's right, mouth party on demand!

This robot...well, it's head, at least...is designed to exactly replicate the human interaction of getting a blowie from [INSERT RANDOM SEX PARTNER HERE]. You can even choose from different head designs, including a male head, and two different female heads. Oh wait...there's also an Anime Edition, so you can get your blowie from a simulated cartoon robot.

Dreams do come true.

This guy has done some research, too, to figure out why other machines don't simulate the true sucking experience, so he could fix those problems.

One included having an open airway for the robot, so it can properly:

"...allow air to escape from within the tubing, allowing free movement of air provided a smooth swallowing feeling that felt like a real interaction. "

via Arlan Robotics Indigogo

He also thought long...and hard...about the feeling when getting a REAL mouth party, of the hair brushing against your body. So, instead of just a boring rubber mouth, this thing has realistic hair that will brush against you, as it bobs it head on you!

Oh, but other than the head, it's like having mouth party with a combine harvester, so you'l have to disguise its metal, angular "body" with some clothes and blankets. So when your mom peeks in, she'll at least think your Star Trek collectibles had enticed a girl into your bed.