I'm no stranger to weird nights drinking at various Grand Rapids establishments and I hear a ton of messed up crap! This is one of those tales. It's another edition of From the Bar Stool.

A guy I routinely drink with, who always seems to know a lot of stuff about a lot of stuff told me about a study he recently read. It’s about you and your man balls frying up like eggs and burning your sperm alive! Ouch! And some pubic hair stuff too!

My buddy said the study finds that after just 10 minutes, your laptop starts cooking your testicles! And obviously that’s not a good thing for your man seed, since you probably would like to knock up a chick someday! I mean, not some dumb fat skank you picked up and nailed at the bar one night, but your wife, the chick you marry.

Dude said using your laptop on your lap might even cause long term, to permanent fertility issues for you. And if you don’t know what ‘long term fertility issues’ means, it means one day when your trying to knock up your wife (not that girl from the bar) it might not happen because all your little man sperms have been roasted to death by your laptop!

Experts say that even if you put a pillow between your nuts and your laptop, that doesn’t really even stop the heat, and if you MUST use your laptop on your lap, make sure to give yourself plenty of frequent breaks, and try your best to keep your balls cool.

Maybe jam a handful of ice down your shorts every so often. And girls, your ok, nothing really to worry about. Just make sure if you’re wearing short shorts, you don’t burn the insides of your legs or let your chick pubic hair catch on fire. No one likes the smell of burning pubic hair.

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