Girls listen up, this is the story of stupid Bethany Barry from Ontario Canada. And girls, you do not want to be like Bethany, even though most of you probably are. A cop buddy of mine I was drinking beers with told me that 17 year old Bethany was driving down a 2 lane highway, you know, kind of like a country road, but it’s a country highway where you can go 55 mph. And while Bethany was going 75mph down the 55mph road, she was texting her BFF (Becky) with one hand, and with the other hand she was playing with her cat, that she had along in the car with her.

She was speeding, texting with one hand, and playing with her cat with the other hand all while she was driving and not paying attention to the road! God chicks like that piss me off! Guess what happened next? Bethany lost control of her car, it veered off the road and slammed into a car parked in a driveway. That car, slammed into another car parked in front of it, and that car, slammed into a boat that was in the driveway in front of it, and the boat slammed into the garage of a house. Overall with the cars she hit, and the boat, and the garage, she caused over $100,000 in damage! And amazingly she survived the crash with only minor injuries! That sucks, I kind of wish she would have died.

I don’t care if it’s not politically correct to say that. She could have hit and killed me instead of hitting the parked cars and boat and garage. I would much rather see a 17 year old crazy texting while driving chick die than me. And I would much rather see you die than me! (if you text and drive that is) In fact, if you do text and drive all the time, I kind of hope you do die, before you cross the center lane and kill me! Much better you die than me. Bethany was arrested by the way, charged with careless driving. I think she might lose her license for about 30 days. What a load of crap! (the opinion of death expressed here is not that of Townsquare Media, but only of some stupid guy named Dahmer who does a silly afternoon radio show)