Dahmer Wants to get Married! Will you Marry Me?

Ok girls, I’ve decided I want to get married. Maybe, there is one of you girls who listens to WGRD that I could marry? What got me thinking about getting married is something our night chick Jackie told me. She gave me the top 5 reasons NOT to marry a guy, and surprisingly none of those reasons applied to me! Maybe I’m not as big of a loser as I thought I was!

Girls, Jackie says you should not marry a guy who:

Hates his job. If he is miserable at work, and has no drive to find something better, you will absorb his negativity and you’ll be miserable too.

Girls, don’t marry a guy who puts his work first. It’s kind of the extreme opposite. If he’s a workaholic, he might be a good provider, but he won’t be there emotionally for you.

Girls, don’t marry a guy who is obsessed with his mother. If he loves her and always defends her, you will never live up to his standards, he will always be comparing you to her.

Girls, don’t marry a guy who doesn’t want you to meet or be around his friends. Jackie says that is a sign he is not ready to share certain parts of his life and his friends are more important to him that you, and this will ultimately end up making you miserable.

And the last one girls, don’t marry a guy who says he can’t believe you picked him. If he says it once, just take it as a compliment. But if he says it all the time, he’s probably got self esteem issues, and you will eventually start to second guess yourself and wonder if you really did pick the wrong guy.

That is what got me thinking, maybe I should get married? I don’t hate my job, I love my job! I don’t put work first, in fact, I’m lazy as hell and hardly ever work at all! Not obsessed with my mother at all. We’re cool buds. I always want to include my chick and have her meet my friends and hang out, for sure man! And I’m not the guy that can’t believe you picked him, cuz I’m freakin awesome! So with that being said……maybe I should get married! Maybe I should marry one of you chicks who listens to WGRD!

Lets do this, if think you might be interested in marrying me, why don’t you send me a message through Facebook, “Dahmer Afternoons” is my facebook page. Actually, you know what, that might not be a good idea. Because my expectations are completely unrealistic. I want a chick who’s younger than me….maybe 27- 34….who’s 3 times as attractive as I am, she’s got to be way better looking than me, no kids, no blown out stretch marks, no gross meth teeth, I don’t care about chest size, big ones, little ones, doesn’t matter. But no bigger boned girls or chubby girls, got to at least be under 130lbs, and no crazies!

Yes, I know, my expectations are unrealistic, but I guess its good that I at least know that right? Come on girls, who’s gonna marry me? ‘Dahmer Afternoons’ on Facebook, send your emails HERE.