Here's the scenario: You're going to the bathroom (#1), and you start, and have that crazy shiver up your spine.

WTF is that?

Maybe you're about to go to sleep, and then your body spasms like you're falling off a building?  WTF is THAT?

Apparently, there are explanations for them.

The "falling" thing is called a "hypnogogic myoclonic twitch", or a "myoclonic jerk". Your brain isn't smart enough sometimes to realize that you're lying down, about to sleep, and freaks out as your muscles relax, and assumes you're falling. It immediately sends freak out signals to the rest of your body to scare the living s*** out of you. As if you'd need that when falling to your death, anyway.

Oddly enough, there hasn't been enough research into the pee shivers to properly explain it. Strange, considering all the dumb crap our government funds research for already. The closest anyone has come to explaining "Post-Micturition Convulsion Syndrome" is that as you start to pee, your body temperature drops rapidly with the release of all that warm pee...making you cold.

What about the never-ending boner? "Priapism", as the boring medical community calls it. "Awesome", as the boner-carrying community calls it. This can be from many different things. Boner pills, spinal damage, drug or alcohol abuse I'm getting back out to the bars every night!), even spider bites. Guys, head down to the local exotic animal store and pick yourself up some black widows for your penis. Your lady-friends will thank you for it.

Obviously you shouldn't do that. Well, maybe not so obviously, considering what some people have done recently.