With GRD's Dodgeball Tournament right around the corner I just had to watch "Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story" again. Coach Patches O'Houlihan was my favorite character so of course I jotted down some of his most memorial quotes in attempting to motivate his team of misfits. Check em out and watch the "Best Of Patches" vid below.

1) It's like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a doorknob out there!

2) Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? No, but I do it anyway because it's
sterile and I like the taste.

3) I love the smell of queef in the morning

4) Those men and that muff-diver believe in you

5) Come on! I get better runs in my shorts.

6) If you're going to become true dodgeballers, then you've got to learn the five d's
of dodgeball: dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge!

7) If you want to have dodgeball victory, you have to grab it by its haunches and
you gotta hump it into submission!

8) Patches – “I've got some hookers in my room. What do you say we go
celebrate? My treat”
Peter – “No, thanks I'll just stick with the scarf, but thank you.”
Patches – “Suit yourself, queer.”

9) This is Patches O'Houlihan saying "Take care of your balls, and they'll take care of
you."
10) Tomorrow, we're gonna pecker-slap those Globo-Gym bastards!