Your artists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should — which, in this case, is actually good for humanity because a massive open-shirted Jeff Goldblum statue has magically appeared in front of the Tower Bridge in London.
We don’t really need further evidence that we are living in a total nightmare (or an alternate timeline, if you’re one of Those People), but then a piece of news comes along that forces us to confront the true horror of reality by offering a painful glimpse at a beautiful life that could’ve been — and never was (at least not in this timeline, if you’re one of Those People). Today, it’s the heartbreaking revelation that Jeff Goldblum — national treasure, king of the silver foxes and master of the universe — could have been the voice of Siri on your iPhone. In the mournful words of the wise Adele, WE COULD’VE HAD IT AAAALLLLLL.
Holy freakin’ cow — that is basically the only practical response to tonight’s late-breaking news. Jeff Goldblum is officially returning to the land of the dinosaurs to reprise his iconic role as Dr. Ian Malcolm in the upcoming Jurassic World sequel. Will he remove his shirt? Will he deliver the signature goofy laugh that spawned one of the greatest YouTube remixes of all time? Will he be bringing any of his former co-stars (like Laura Dern, who recently expressed an interest) with him? We have, uh, so many questions.
Surprise! 20th Century Fox has delivered the first full trailer for Independence Day: Resurgence (not related to Toho’s Godzilla: Resurgence, unfortunately) a wee bit earlier than previously planned. The trailer was going to debut in front of Star Wars: The Force Awakens later this week, but early Christmas has come early, and our ol’ alien pals are back.