There's a crazy theory going around, and stay with me here. People are always looking for conspiracies, and there's one now about a super popular steak restaurant. We have some right here in Grand Rapids, and are they making us Satan Steaks?

Outback Steakhouses seem to be positioned around cities in pentagram shapes.

Indianapolis is a good example. Is this coincidence? If you look at cities where there are five or more Outback locations, they seem to be positioned into easy-to-draw pentagrams. Is this part of their evil plan to take over the world for Satan, or is it the Illuminati trying to throw us off the trail of THEIR secrets?

Looking around, there seem to be a lot of strange Satanic conspiracies...hmmm. Are we under attack?

Even if we are, who wants to stop it? The steaks are so tasty. Tasty, tasty Satan.