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Wu-Tang Rapper Who Cut Off His Own Penis is…Well, Nuts

A couple of months ago, I shared a funny story with you about a crazy rapper who cut off his own penis and jumped off a building.  He’s affiliated with Wu-Tang, whatever the hell that means…is he IN Wu-Tang, or just some dude who tags along with them when they go on beer runs?

Anyway, he’s been explaining just what he was thinking when he Lorena Bobbited himself.

“I cut it off because that was the root of all my problems,” the 41-year-old rapper, who also uses the name Christ Bearer, tells E!. “My solution to the problem was the realization that sex is for mortals, and I am a god. … Those kinds of activities got me into trouble, and I came here to be a god.”

via Newser

WTF?  Now this guy is a god?  The drugs he’s on must be freaking AWESOME!

Oh, and the original claim that they couldn’t reattach the offending member proved not quite as true as originally thought.  It’s back on, but only sort of…partially…gets hard.  He says he’s still got some penis that works, and his days of reproducing are over.

THANK FREAKING GOD!  Who wants this idiot having kids?

“I’m alive, penis or no penis.” He’s speaking out for the first time since the incident because “the truth must be told,” he says. What’s next for him? “I love comedy,” he says. “I’m going to do stand up along with making music.”

Because there’s nothing funnier than a suicidal rapper with delusions of godhood and a barely functioning Frankenpenis.

He should print that on his business cards.

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