World Domination Step 1 - Buy More Sneakers

Surveys are used a lot to convince people that your argument about (insert subject here) is totally more valid than theirs. "But seriously, penguins have WAY more teeth than dolphins, according to this survey..."

We still don't believe you, man. Sorry.

But surveys will come up with some interesting (some would say bizarre - okay, by some, I mean I would say) facts(?) about our society.

For example, one survey discoveredthat people who are 61% more likely to be leaders tend to buy more than three pairs of sneakers. 50% of people who buy a lot of sneakers tend to be "very assertive" and 47% are "spontaneous". The rest of us, apparently, are sheep. WTF?
Another survey discovered that 55% of people believe the Do Not Call List means that companies can't call you. (Sadly, until now, I was actually one of them.) Apparently, if you've don't business with a company recently (exactly how recently?), then they CAN call you. And political and charitable organizations can ignore the DNC completely.
Surprisingly, one survey by the Mayo Clinic discovered that people who earn money to lose weight will actually lose more weight than people who don't get bonuses! (Duh!) People who made $20 for every month they lose 4 pounds, and lost $20 for not losing the weight actually lost more than 4 times the weight as those not making money!

Do we, in any way at all, pay money for these surveys to be done? Does that piss you off? Take my survey below!

Just kidding.