Guys, if you got a job interview, wedding, important meeting, family reunion or anything like that in the near future, you need to know the correct way to shake another dudes hand and the type of hand shakes to avoid.

According to a dude I was killing beers with last week, who referred to himself as “an expert on all guy things”, here is what he said about the right and wrong way to shake another dudes hand. And yes, the guy was wasted. The three wrong ways are:

1- The Macho Cowboy- this is when you squeeze the other guys hand so hard you almost crush his bones. You might think it makes you look badass, and strong and cool, but it really just makes you look like a dick.

2- The dead fish handshake- this is where your hand is weak and wimpy and just flops around in the other guys hand like a dead fish. Its the hand shake you do when you shake a chicks hand, not a dudes hand. Plus if you give him the dead fish, he might think you want to smoke his pole.

3- The I've got you covered handshake- this is where you put your left hand over the persons hand your shaking and cover it, and that’s just kind of weird and creepy, unless your a politician. Then everyone already know you’re weird and creepy.

The proper way to shake another dudes hand, according drunk Jim a so called ‘expert’ on all guy stuff, is to extend your arm when you’re about 3 feet away, lock hands, thumb joint to thumb joint and firmly clasp the other persons hand, then pump or shake it two or three times, like you do when you’re peeing, and then let go. So did you learn something from drunk Jim? Yea, probably not.