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Who Rolling Stone Left Off Its ‘Funniest People On Twitter’ List

25 Funniest People on Twitter

Rolling Stone released its list of “The 25 Funniest People on Twitter” Monday, and while yes, we know lists are subjective and only so many people can be crammed into one, we'd like to take a stab at cramming some people you'll probably disagree with us on into our own. 

Let's start by saying all the people included on Rolling Stone's list are very funny, funnier than most in the Twittersphere, and we would have snagged many of the members for our list had they not done it first. But if, after taking all their recommendations, your thumb is going through withdrawals from hitting the follow button may we suggest:


Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw): Opening a new store: it's pretty much the opposite of a Build-A-Bear, where you pay to rip the guts out of cute stuffed animals


Josh Hara (@yoyoha): "There's a sleeping person. Let's go ask it questions." – Children


AmberTozer (@AmberTozer): Sometimes I run toward people & expect them to know that I want them to do the Dirty Dancing lift but they never know and I slam into them.


Andy Richter (@Andy_Richter): "...and after tripping on an accursed Razor scooter in his garage for the millionth time, his mind snapped, AND A SUPER VILLAIN WAS BORN!"


Tricia (@Im_Tricia): You say one night stand, I say I'm changing my facebook status to "in a relationship" with you & friend requesting your mom.


Brandon Gutermuth (@UNTRESOR): Sports are great because I can watch the guy that shoved my head in a toilet in High School make millions of dollars. Sweet revenge.


Jocelyn Plums (@FilthyRichmond): Romney tries to connect with middle class voters by reusing a paper grocery bag to move some cash across the room.


Karl Welzein (@DadBoner): Told work I gotta split for a business appointment. 'Cause drinkin' cold ones is my business, and business is good, you guys.


Robin McCauley (@RobinMcCauley): Don't put words in my mouth. Put cookies.


Jenny Mollen (@jennyandteets): Women who pretend to like football are the same women who pretend to be on birth control.


Andy Levy (@andylevy): “Oh, cool, Shia Labeouf’s in this,” she whispered as I realized this would be the last time I ever saw her.


Mark Leggett (@markleggett): A cool thing to say to a cop is "I pay taxes, which pay for your wages, so technically I'm your boss" and then give them a huge promotion.


Shira (@shiraselko): i'd rather fall in dog poop than love


Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe): I believe in a woman's right to choose, except when it comes to picking what movie we should watch tonight.


molly (@Molly_Kats): Prevent your daughter from ever affording Chanel by naming her Chanel.


Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien): Ben & Jerry’s is suing a porn company. I hate it when my two favorite things to binge on aren’t getting along.


Uncle Dynamite (@UncleDynamite): "Jim, we've replaced all the Bibles in this church with copies of "Everybody Poops." Let's see if anyone notices."


Joe Mande (@JoeMande): Pizza in the morning, pizza in the evening, pizza at supper time. When you are an adult, you can have pizza anytime.


Jeffrey Hadz (@Hadzilla): I youtubed old people on trampolines and this is my life now


Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit): If there was a job where I could get paid to identify the celebrity voiceovers in car commercials, I would be bad at that too.


L.B. Johnson (@ladybirdj): Find someone who thinks you're just a little bit better than you think you are and don't make them feel stupid for thinking it.


Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey): Apple's FaceTime lets me tell loved ones how much I miss seeing them while staring at my own face the entire call.


Travon Free (@Travon): So disappointed. In N Out is refusing to make my burger Gangnam style.


Nikki Glaser (@NikkiGlaser): Let's all simmer down on our usage of "amazing".


Sean (@SeanBlazed): Back it up like a Tonka truck? You mean like with the assistance of a 3 year old boy? Nope sorry Pitbull not gonna happen that's bad + weird


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