Thursday, December 9, 2010

Hour 1

We talked this morning about a doctor that was dressed as Elvis when he ran the Las Vegas Half Marathon. He got married at mile 2 and brought a dead man back to life at a burger joint after the race after they passed out and got knocked unconscious! put together a list of the 30 best lead signers in history, but of course they had some stupid stipulations as to who qualified to make the list. We agreed with some of the selections, but disagreed with more.

Hour 2

Urban Meyer has announced that he will step down as the head coach of Florida State. We talked about how he will be the one and only person to ever be named "Urban". We talked briefly this morning about the ongoing Jenn Sterger/Brett Favre incident. The NFL announced that they have gathered all of their information and will comment on it shortly. In a very odd shoplifting story, a guy was caught stealing a bunch of lip balm. When asked why he was stealing it, he claimed it was so he could keep the door frames in his home properly lubricated, thus allowing his fat uncle to enter the house with ease. That had to be the greatest excuse ever! Zane was on a conference call/webinar yesterday with about 300 people in the company talking about the new health benefits plans that they are rolling out. Not being able to simply sign in as "Eric Zane", he signed in as Eric "Hung Like a Horse" Zane. This caused all sorts of drama in the HR department.

Hour 3

Camera Barbie, the newest Barbie doll with a built-in camera, is receiving some attention from the FBI because it could be used by pedophiles. People are worried that child predators would give the toy to kids to play with and then take it back to download the images and videos. A principal in Memphis, TN is making news because he's forcing students that sag their pants to pull them up and dress like Steve Urkel from the 90's TV show Family Matters. This seems good in theory, except he may want to consider updating his reference a bit. The kids in his school weren't even born yet when Urkel was "popular". Linda Frias of Tyler, TX was tired of her place being robbed, so she wants to set bear traps in her yard. The crazy part of the story is that thieves broke in to her LAND ROVER and stole her expensive, aftermarket stereo! It's crazy because she lives in a trailer park. Based on this, we took calls from listeners who have also set booby traps.

Hour 4

We gave an update this morning on the Tommy Lee cow vagina story from yesterday. Sea World is denying that they use cow vaginas to extract whale semen. They said that Tommy Lee's story was completely fabricated and that no one uses that practice. In today's FBHW Report, we played some audio of Barbara Walters interviewing Oprah as part of her "Most Interesting People" special, as well as talked about how thin-skinned LeBron James is. We closed the hour with a round of Dumber Than Zane Trivia, worth $1,600 from Cat Footwear.

Hour 5

Now that Steve has bought a house, he is hoping to get a puppy very soon. He found one on line with a crazy, technicolor face and he is waiting for the animal rescue to get back to him about it. We took this as an opportunity to take a trip to Puppytown! It was announced yesterday that Aretha Franklin has pancreatic cancer. We all agreed that no matter what type of music you are in to, her music kicks ass. Eli Young, lead singer of the Eli Young Band, sucked horribly at singing the national anthem at a recent sporting event. After playing his attempt, we revisited the most classic of National Anthem screw-ups ever, Carl Lewis. We closed the show by talking about a guy named Shane Fallon, who flew from Australia to Chicago to dress up as a reindeer and propose to his girlfriend. We got him on the line to talk about the proposal and it quickly went south when we asked him how many orgasms they have had so far since being engaged. After talking to him, we realized that his fiancé attends one of the most Christian colleges in the world! Talk to you on Friday morning!