The Air Sex Championships are coming to Grand Rapids, and we thought we'd share with you our audition tapes. Sort of like auditioning for a movie, but of course all of ours were rejected. We're not sure why.

Lots of people get up on stage to simulate sex with air (sort of like my usual dating life), and there's even a movie you can see about the events, and the fun!

Guaranteed, everyone who's going to be at the Pyramid Scheme for this on November 2nd will be WAY better at air sex than all of us combined. Check out the real competition below, and then have a laugh at us above.

This is all in good fun, so please take it as such.