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Wanna Help Build An Ark With Me?

Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images

Great! More rain, flooding, thunderstorms even a Tornado watch in effect for our area today.  The flooding is awful, drowning many intersections and closing roads all over West Michigan.  How far away are we from the Four Horesemen appearing over the Horizon?  Hell, it appears we’ve already lost the city of Wyoming and I’m not waiting around for my Rockford Mayor to proclaim a state of emergency…I’m building an Ark and floating outta here people.

But I do need some help – Here’s where I am at:

I have laminated the blueprints so they don’t get wet.  The framing has begun but I need some help with the flooring so if you have decent carpenter skills I’ll award you and only ONE other person a place on the Ark.  Choose well though cause if they annoy me I won’t hesitate to throw em overboard. Target date to finish project is set for this Friday after I pick up my paycheck and we hit Meijer for some supplies.

And before I forget – I’m only collecting animals I like.  So far I have two dogs for hunting purposes after my Ark docks on dry land, two gators to place in my moat for protection against marauders and two Parrots to capture my story and pass it on to our future generations.

I’m still short two platypus, two aardvarks, and two blowfish – all strictly to make fun of as we bob up and down in a poorly constructed floatation device on the waters of the earth for many months.  Oh! and my wife won’t like this but anybody have Megan Fox’s number?? I mean c’mon ….it’s going to be a long time at sea.

 

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