Top 5 Christmas Songs You Won’t Hear At Christmas
Seems you can't escape Christmas songs cause they're everywhere. On TV, the radio, the mall, hell they even pipe it over the loud speakers where I get gas. Always the same songs too. Ah, but alas my fellow tis the spirit haters, I have a sure fire way to rid ourselves of continuous holiday favorites. We should pass a law requiring all purveyors of Christmas music to play the following list of holiday classics. Then watch how quickly the thrill of being the “Christmas station” dissipates!
DIO – God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
The Christmas spirit may come and go like a Winter solstice but as long as we raise the horns of heavy metal, the spirit of Dio will never pass from us. I gotta say though hearing Dio demonically wailing words like comfort and joy and…..gentlemen???? Well, they're just weird words to hear coming from Sir Holy Diver.
Lemmy – Run Run Rudolph
Lemmy does his best ambling through this song with his infamous cookie monster growling. You know why Lemmy is telling Rudolph to run don't ya? Cause if Roody don't run he'll end up on a plate on Lemmys dinner table aside some mashed potatoes and gravy garnished by a few carrot sticks and stalks of celery. I'd run to Roody….I'd run too!
Alice Cooper – Santa Claus Is Coming To Town
Sad part here kids…Alice wants Santa to come to town NOT to deliver you presents but to be sacrificed on stage by Alice Coopers famous guillotine prop. Poor Santy….never saw it coming.
King Diamond – No Presents For Christmas
I guess when you pretend you're the antichrist for a living you really shouldn't be disappointed when there are no presents under your tree. Oh! and singing in falsetto sucks…more naughty list points for that.
A Charlie Brown Metal Christmas
Hey if Charlie Brown would've been this bad ass when I watched the crap on TV, then I'd be a fan but lets face it, the show is painstakingly slow and a real downer. So if putting some thumping drums and crunching guitars behind Pigpen, Lucy, Snoopy and the rest of the gang makes em rock stars, then so be it. You're NOT a blockhead Charlie Brown….um, when you rock anyway.