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What Was the First Thing Joe Did When He Met His Wife – Free Beer and Hot Wings Segment 16 [Video]

Today on Segment 16, the guys talked with Dan, Lauren, and Aaron from WZZM about a new dating site, where you wear a shirt for 3 days and nights straight, and then you all smell each other to see if you're a match. Aside from being gross, they also don't separate the clothes by sex, so you could hook yourself up with a same-sex relationship!

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JW Ladies Batteries
Obviously, Johnnie went home alone again that night, and the ladies had battery fun.
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Ladies – Today’s National Holidays Seem to be Made Just for You

If you follow those silly "National Holiday" sites that have celebrations for every single day of the year, you will know what to celebrate today, and how. If not, I have some help for you ladies, since today is the day for you to get drunk and masturbate, apparently!

Today is both National Drink Wine Day, AND National Battery Day!

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Category: Humor Tags: , , , ,
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Steve Would Make a Hot Lesbian Right Now – Free Beer and Hot Wings Segment 16

Today on Segment 16, we learned that Producer Steve would make a hot lesbian right now, if things don't work out with Annette. (Things aren't going that way, so relax.) But Hot Wings points out that he'd better become a lesbian now, while he still is in the window where he'd make a hot one.

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Porn Stars
Ethan Miller/Getty Images
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You Can Watch Porn Instead of Coldplay’s Super Bowl Halftime Show

A lot of football fans are upset that British rock band Coldplay was chosen as this year's Super Bowl halftime performer, so the search is on for the perfect alternative and we may have found it.

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Category: Sports Tags: , , ,
Thinkstock
Thinkstock
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Why Are There Never Any Female Aliens Coming to Have Sex with Dudes?

There's an entire community of women here in the US that have supposedly "shared experience" with getting nailed by aliens to create a "hybrid human-alien race". They call themselves the Hybrid Baby Community, and they claim that these aliens are constantly coming down here to bang and impregnate these women, and taking the babies up to the spaceships to raise.

Wait...let's get this straight.

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Category: Humor, News, Weird News Tags: , ,
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Monkeys on a Safari Tour Decide To Scar a Girl for Life By Humping on Her Family Car [Video]

There's nothing like a family vacation. You get to visit new places, see new things, share a room with your embarrassing parents, learn about sex from monkeys...wait, that's not supposed to happen! 

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Category: Animals, Humor, Videos Tags: , ,
Safe Sex
Sven Hoppe/Thinkstock
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Don’t Want Kids But Are Afraid to Get a Vasectomy? Get a Sperm Switch Installed!

A German carpenter has come up with a brilliant new procedure for men's birth control, that doesn't require a vasectomy. For some reason, doctors never came up with this idea, so score one for the good guys!

It's a switch under the skin that's on the tube that carries sperm from the testicles. Flick, no sperm can come out, flick again, and the highway is back open. Genius!

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Category: Health, Humor, News Tags: , ,
Israel Pioneers Use Of Medical Marijuana
Getty Images
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Sexxpot is the New Designer Weed to Help Women Have Mind-Blowing Sex!

Have you wanted to have the most mind-blowing sex, yet also want to be stoned AF? Well, a quick trip to San Francisco might be an idea for you, to pick up some Sexxpot!

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Category: Health, Humor, News Tags: , ,
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Babypod – The Newest Vibrator Masquerading as a Hippie Baby Invention [Video]

What will people think of next? Obviously it will be something involving a vagina, because let's all face it...they're always on our minds. This new device, the Babypod, is the latest hippie idea to let your fetus enjoy "unruffled" music in the womb...but basically sticking a speaker in your vagina.

This is not a joke.

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Category: Humor, News, Videos Tags: , ,
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“The Nightmare Before XXXmas” Looks Like the Best Adult Christmas Movie Ever [Video]

This week has been a weird one for Christmas. Maybe it's the weirdness on the interwebs, or the fact that I need a girlfriend, but there's A LOT of Christmas-themed porn stuff out there right now! This could be the best parody movie of "Nightmare Before Christmas" out there...and it has naked people in it!

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Category: Christmas, Humor, Videos Tags: , , ,
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Hot Girls Try to Sing Silent Night While Riding a Sybian Sex Machine [Video]

Christmas is the time for giving. Okay, that could mean presents like socks and crap, but maybe for the holidays we can step up our game a bit. Let's give something everyone likes! Orgasms! And we'll throw in something like...um...Christmas Carols with it...yeah, that sounds good!

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How The Grinch Stole Christmas as Read By Beautiful Porn Stars [Video]

Christmas isn't only for kids. Everyone should be able to enjoy this holiday, and not just for the presents! Well, I guess you could call this a present. Gathering together a bunch of beautiful porn star babes, and having them read Christmas stories!

That's exactly what this is! You won't watch the movie ever again, or read the book. Why should you, when you can watch these amazing ladies read the story to you?

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Category: Christmas, Videos Tags: , , , ,

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