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Sasha Grey Fleshlight
Sasha Grey Fleshlight
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Clueless Mom Asks the Internet to Explain What Her Son’s Fleshlight Is

Patty Parsons, the Internet's most recent clueless mom, recently posted a photo on Twitter of her son's masturbation toy, asking people what it was. The Internet, in all its cruel glory, was kind enough to explain it to her in graphic detail.

Her poor CJ (son), has now been outed as a shower masturbator to the entire world.

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Category: Humor Tags: , , ,
Mating domestic cats - sex in nature
Neonci/Thinkstock
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You Might Need to Be Having More Sex to Be Happy – Surprise!

Amy Muise, sex and romance "scientist" (how do I get THAT job?) at the University of Toronto Missisauga has conducted a study over 23 YEARS with her team, to determine how happy people are, and how they can be happy. Mostly with sex, sometimes with money. What did she discover?

If you have more sex, you're generally happier. SURPRISE!

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Category: Science Tags: , ,
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All Female Space Flight Crew Helps Us Learn How Sexist and Dumb Reporters Are

There's an all-female flight crew beginning an experiment on the psychological, social, and physical effects of long-term spaceflight. That kicks a lot of ass! The six Russian astronauts will conducts experiments, and live as if they're in space on a long flight. Watched by cameras the whole time, of course, for sciency reasons.

But the dumbness comes in at the press conference.

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Super Bowl XLVI
Ezra Shaw
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Football Game Public Sex is the New Mile High Club

Not too long ago, a story came out about a girl in Buffalo giving a handjob to a rando at a Bills' game. This was exciting news, and probably made ticket sales for Bills games go through the roof, as a bunch of lonely dudes went looking for her.

Now, a couple people are trying to out-mile-high-club the original!

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Category: Football, Humor, Sports Tags: , , ,
Hidden woman
Hidden woman
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Sex Robot Technology is Going in a Really Weird Direction [Video]

A couple years ago, this crazy dude named Brian Sloan hit Indiegogo to crowd-fund his idea for a new masturbation machine he appropriately called the "AutoBlow2". I'm not sure what happened to the "AutoBlow1", but the second one is the one that got all the attention. He was looking to raise $45,000 and got almost $80,000!

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Category: Videos, Weird News Tags: , ,
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This Guy REALLY Can’t Handle the Rollercoaster and Makes a Big Mistake [Video]

I'm not a huge rollercoaster person. I don't mind them, but I really don't have a burning desire to ride them, either. The hot girl in this video REALLY loved rollercoasters, but probably isn't such a huge fan of them now, after this ride with her boyfriend.

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Category: Humor, Videos Tags: , ,
Man's hand holding cash
(Burke/Triolo Productions/Thinkstock)
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Lonely Ted Creates GoFundMe Page to Help Him Get a Hooker

Poor Ted Loete, he claims he hasn't been getting any recently, so he's decided to turn to random strangers for some action. No, he's not soliciting for people to come bang him. That would be just a dating site. He's decided to be completely open, and start a GoFundMe campaign, to get people to help him raise $200 for a hooker!

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Category: Humor, News Tags: , ,
Empty Stadium Seating
Only go to games after it's rained, so the seats might be a bit cleaner...(Nic Taylor/Thinkstock)
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Girl in Buffalo Gives Handy to Random Dude at Football Game While BF is Getting a Hot Dog

In both gross-for-the-rest-of-us and bad-for-your-boyfriend news, Buffalo has presented us with this gem on Craigslist missed connections:

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Beauty hairstyle
You know she's totally taking care of herself right now. (photographer Valua Vitaly/Thinkstock)
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You Should Totally Masturbate to be More Healthy [Video]

Okay, not JUST to be more healthy. It's also pretty fun. But what about the blind thing, or the hairy palms? I have a tincture I can sell you for that.

Seriously, there are apparently a LOT of health benefits to solo flights. It's actually a workout for some muscles down there, it keeps poisons out of your junk, helping keep you from getting cancer...it's even better for your swimmers!

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Category: Humor, Videos Tags: , , ,
Johnnie's not 11,000-year-old carving
This is totally not the real 11,000-year-old carving, it's the one I just made, but mine looks way happier than the old one does, so take that, ancient carving dude!
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Weird Sciencey Thing Wednesday – 11,000-Year-Old Statue Is Oldest Carved Thing Ever

A while back (1894 - okay, quite a while back), archeologists found this cool wooden column in a peat bog in the Ural mountains, and they saw immediately that it was old. I mean, really old. They eventually stopped standing around saying, "That looks really old", and did some science on it to determine it was 9,500 years old.

New sciencey stuff actually shows that it's much older. It's really 11,000 years old!

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Category: Weird News Tags: , , , ,
attentive look of surgeon
This doctor looks pissed that he doesn't get a new 8-inch penis. I would be, too. (Andrei Malov/Thinkstock)
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Scottish Man Gets an 8-inch Bionic Penis – How Do I Sign Up For One? NSFW

43-year-old Mohammed Abad, from Edinburgh, Scotland has had an 8-inch bionic penis installed, to replace the one he lost in a horrible accident when he was 6-years-old. He was hit by a car and dragged for 600 feet.

Um...I don't want to do that. At all. That's the most horrible thing.

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Category: Technology Tags: , , ,
Beautiful couple kissing in back seat
Be careful, she might just jump you anywhere, anytime! (I wouldn't hold my breath on that, either.) Wavebreakmedia Ltd/Thinkstock
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Women Might Soon Get a ‘Pink Pill’ That Helps Them Want to Have Sex!

Soon, the days of us begging on our knees for a little sex from our significant others might be over! Doctors have given us a millions different pills for our 'little monster', but that just meant we've been wandering around with unkillable erections, hoping to get laid.

And probably failing more often than succeeding.

But now, women might have a pill to help boost their sex drive, and maybe then WE'LL be the ones on the other end of the begging!

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Category: Weird News Tags: , , ,

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