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Noam Armonn
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Pirate Takes Over British Radio Station To Play A Song About Masturbation

Over the weekend, a pirate overtook the airwaves of the British radio station Mansfield 103.2 and played 'The Winker's Song' eight times.

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Victim Of Pompeii
circa 1900: One of the victims killed by the eruption of Mount Vesuvius which destroyed the city of Pompeii. The shape was preserved by ashes, mixed with rain, settling around the man to leave a mould after the body had decayed, excavators poured plaster into the space and so the person appears in relief. (Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images)
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Pompeii Man’s Preserved Masturbation Goes Viral

Archeologists have found something like 1,500 preserved bodies in the ruins of Pompeii. When Mount Vesuvius erupted in 79CE, a lot of the people in the town were killed so quickly, it's thought they wouldn't have even felt any pain. This guy might have been feeling something else.

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Jordan Haskins
Jordan Haskins (Courtesy Photo/Saginaw County Sheriff's Office)
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Saginaw Man Jailed on Valentine’s Day for Dirty Dirty Sex Driving

I've never heard of "cranking" before this, and now I fear it's like "The Ring". I can only escape the clutches of this disturbing new knowledge by sharing with unsuspecting innocents. I apologize in advance for inflicting this upon you.

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JW Ladies Batteries
Obviously, Johnnie went home alone again that night, and the ladies had battery fun.
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Ladies – Today’s National Holidays Seem to be Made Just for You

If you follow those silly "National Holiday" sites that have celebrations for every single day of the year, you will know what to celebrate today, and how. If not, I have some help for you ladies, since today is the day for you to get drunk and masturbate, apparently!

Today is both National Drink Wine Day, AND National Battery Day!

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Category: Humor Tags: , , , ,
Sasha Grey Fleshlight
Sasha Grey Fleshlight
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Clueless Mom Asks the Internet to Explain What Her Son’s Fleshlight Is

Patty Parsons, the Internet's most recent clueless mom, recently posted a photo on Twitter of her son's masturbation toy, asking people what it was. The Internet, in all its cruel glory, was kind enough to explain it to her in graphic detail.

Her poor CJ (son), has now been outed as a shower masturbator to the entire world.

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Category: Humor Tags: , , ,
Beauty hairstyle
You know she's totally taking care of herself right now. (photographer Valua Vitaly/Thinkstock)
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You Should Totally Masturbate to be More Healthy [Video]

Okay, not JUST to be more healthy. It's also pretty fun. But what about the blind thing, or the hairy palms? I have a tincture I can sell you for that.

Seriously, there are apparently a LOT of health benefits to solo flights. It's actually a workout for some muscles down there, it keeps poisons out of your junk, helping keep you from getting cancer...it's even better for your swimmers!

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Category: Humor, Videos Tags: , , ,

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