WGRD 97.9 » dumb criminals

Woman Arrested For April Fool's Day Robbery Prank

Jeremy Taylor — Wed, 03 Apr 2013 10:00:23 +0000

It’s becoming harder and harder to pull a good April Fool’s Day prank. We blame the internet for this, as not long after you log on you are reminded of the tricky nature of April 1 and thus put your guard up. One way to circumvent the new always-in-your-face April Fool’s reality is pull the [...]

Drunken Thief Was Too Bombed to Rob Little Caesars

Jeremy Taylor — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 14:15:45 +0000

Like so many of us have done, Ryan Hopkins made a bad decision while drunk. Unlike the rest of us, he decided to rob a Little Caesars. But the stick-up didn’t go quite the way he had (probably not) planned. It got off to a good enough start — Hopkins stumbled into a Lexington, Ken., [...]

YouTube Prankster Hauled to Jail for Giving Wedgies

Drew Weisholtz — Wed, 16 Jan 2013 04:59:58 +0000

Charles Ross has been caught with his pants down because his victims were caught with their pants up. Way up. Ross, 18, was arrested Sunday, for giving people wedgies outside a movie theater in Bradenton, Florida. Ross isn’t some overgrown high school bully; rather, it seems he was filming the spree to post on his [...]

Man Arrested for Fighting Stop Sign

Emerald Catron — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 03:59:11 +0000

No matter how hard police tried, Raymond Garcia wouldn't *stop* fighting a stop sign. (See what we did there?) Officers in Roswell, New Mexico were responding to a report of a man fighting a stop sign, and that is exactly what they found. We aren't sure what the sign did, but it must've been pretty bad, because not even a taser could stop Garcia.

World's Worst Burglar Dozes Off During Robbery

Jeremy Taylor — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 21:25:39 +0000

Everything was going well for burglar Cristian Villarreal-Castillo. He had just snatched a cache of small electronics from cars in a Hillsboro, OR neighborhood and then he really hit the jackpot when he was able to enter into a home through an unlocked back door.

All the 20-year old had to do is not fall asleep and he would've made off with quite the haul. Unfortunately for Villarreal-Castillo, he fell asleep.

Intruder Armed With Weasel Attacks Homeowner

Andy Green — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 16:12:07 +0000

Oh internet. Wilst thou deliver us some serious weirdness today? YEP! In the city of Hoquiam, WA, there was a criminal walking the streets. He was a supervillain of sorts. Like most supervillains he carried a weapon vastly different than a gun. No, it wasn't a giant freeze ray or a sword made of fire. Nope, this dude was carrying with him a dead weasel... well, a marten technically.

Man Eats Cocaine Out of Brother's Ass, Dies

Andy Green — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 01:53:28 +0000

Every day the staff of WGRD wakes up... does karate moves--then hits the internet to see what kind of weirdness she will bestow upon us. Well, this evening friends and comrades... we have a winner. The most WTF headline of the year has happened on this day and this may usher in an entire new era of consciousness. The headline read "Man Eats Cocaine Out of Brother's Butt, Dies." That's right a man has eaten cocaine out of his own brother's ass.

Creepy Guy Licks Woman's Knee and Face Against Her Will, Gets Arrested

Andy Green — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 20:40:02 +0000

When it comes to dealing with the ladies there are clearly defined do's and do nots. First and foremost you always want to be a gentleman. How exactly you define the term gentleman is up to you. One thing that a gentleman would do is help a lady up after she fell and scraped her knee. And something a gentleman would NOT do is lick her wound and then lick her face several times against her will. Well, one man has managed to gain and lose gentleman status in one foul swoop.

Renaissance Nerd Punishes Teenage Daughter With Vicious Armored Sword Beatdown

Andy Green — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 19:47:47 +0000

The common understanding up until this point in time regarding fans of renaissance fairs was that they rarely got laid and therefore never created offspring. Well, it turns out that some of them do find places to deposit their seed. At least one did anyway. And when his daughter went out of town without his permission he decided that her punishment should be to sword fight her old man until one of the combatants reigned victorious.

Man Steals Empty Adult DVD Cases In Robbery Attempt

Chris Illuminati — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 20:00:26 +0000

The basket of a bike is useful for transporting almost anything; school books, extra terrestrials, the head of a sledge hammer tied to a rope or even empty porn DVD cases. The Salina News Journal explains how 21-year-old Juan Aguirre almost pulled off the heist of the century. Kidding. He botched the robbery of a porn shop.

Toddler Fires Shotgun During Mother's Drug Deal

Andy Green — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 13:57:56 +0000

Babies serve very few purposes. They crap in their pants and have no ability to clean themselves. They can’t feed themselves. They have absolutely no disposable income to help with bills. What they can do though is provide backup during a parent’s drug deal. 28 year old Shayla Sutherland took 2 friends and loaded 2 [...]

Brought Down by Their Ink–7 Dumb Criminals Whose Tattoos Brought Them to Justice

Andy Green — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 15:25:50 +0000

Tattoos are one of those things that might be totally okay for the day to day life of some folks, while other groups of people might want to steer clear from forever marking their skin with that 'I love mom' tattoo. Criminals are a group that seem to love to get all artsy with their flesh, but unfortunately sometimes it's the tattoos that get them caught. Here are 7 incredibly idiotic criminals who were brought to justice via their stupid tattoos.

Dumbass Gets Cops Called on Him For Public Zit-Popping at McDonald's

Andy Green — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 15:00:22 +0000

Everybody has taken the time to pop a zit every now and then... we're betting that your exploding back-acne pus never came close to landing you in jail. That is exactly what happened with an imbecile named Lemire Kato. The guy was having one of those days. You know, those days when you just HAVE to pop your back zits in front of a McDonald's.