Stupid Girl Pees, Wipes With Leaves & Sets Fire! — From The Bar Stool:

When I’m out drinking in bars, it seems people always want to tell me their wacked out messed up stories. And I love it, because then I get to share them with you! A couple weeks ago, just south of Fresno California a 32 year old chick Jenna Lathom was driving some back country highway and it was 2am in the morning and she had just gotten out of work and was on her way to see her boyfriend.

Well Jenna stopped on the side of the road because she had to pee, and when she was done with the tinkle and after she wiped herself with some leaves, she realized she had locked her key in her car along with her cell phone. So Jenna figured well, I know what I'll do, I'll just climb up on this hill here, and light this big pile of brush on fire and someone will see the fire, and call the fire department, and when they show up they can unlock my car for me! So dumb-dumb chick lit a big pile of brush on fire, that was touching another big pile of brush, that was touching another big pile of brush, and in about 10 minutes, there was a raging 40 acre brush fire!

And oh yea, the fire department came! Took them most of the night to put the fire out, and man were they pissed when Jenna tried to explain she'd only set the fire because she locked her keys in her car and needed someone to come help get them out! Jenna never made it to her boyfriend’s house that night, because cops arrested her and charged her with arson.

Now girls, for those of you who don't get what just happened in that story, let me spell it out to you real slow ok. I know you girls don't like to shut up and listen very often, but girls, if you lock your keys in your car, you cannot set a 40 acre brush fire just so some fire fighters will show up and open your car for you ok!?