Stoner Andy’s Top 5 Job Interview Tips
Hey man, so I like figured since I now have a job and everything–that I would share some tips for totally, like, owning a job interview, dude. Personally, I've had over 5,000 job interviews man and my strategy finally paid off that one time.
Punctuation–Don’t Like Be TOO Late, Man
Seriously, dude. Everybody's late to most everything man. Motorhead for instance is now just getting around to having his annual solo Easter Egg Hunt… and Easter was like totally last week or something, man. Yeah, so you want to always try to never be more than like an hour late or so… especially to like a… uh… oh yeah–job interview, dude!
Like, Bring Stuff, Dude
This is another key to success, man. You want to make sure to, like–bring your stuff, man. You know… you're job getting stuff, bro. Things like protractors, red pens… and of course… a mid interview snack, dude. I love snacks, man.
Don’t Be TOO High, Bro
Job interviews are very nerve-racking, man. So, naturally you, like–want to try and take the edge off… but be careful. You never want to be TOO high for your interview, cuz you might like.. say something that is… uh… what's the word I'm looking for, man? Oh yeah… you don't want to say anything stupid, man… cuz, like–that would suck. What was your question again, dude?
Wear Shoes, Man
This is one I've learned the hard way (several times over.) Shoes are important, man. Apparently, when you're barefoot… you don't present one of those professional images, dude. Is a professional image like a photo that was taken by a pro… I don't know, man. Hey… while you're reading this… do you happen to know where my shoes are, man?
Don’t Eat Pop Tarts During The Interview
Another one I have learned the hard way, man. My grandma always has Pop Tarts and in fact.. Pop Tarts make up about 80 percent of Stoner Andy's Diet, man. I love them… they're so good, dude. Like strawberry, chocolate… I really love Pop Tarts, dude. What was I saying? Oh YEAH! If you're on fire… stop, drop and like… jump around or something. Nobody likes being on fire, man.