So like, I heard about all this talk of decriminalizing weed in Grand Rapids, man. This is just ridiculous. Why in the hell would you want to make it more of a crime, man? Seriously, it should be cool as it is, dude. I think I know who to blame for this movement, man. Once again, I'm gonna point my finger at the fat cats of the raisin industry. They are the most evil dudes on the planet man.

What's weird to me though, is how I'm the only reputable journalist who seems to be blowing the whistle on the raisin industry. It makes perfect sense, dude. If they make weed more of a crime, then of course they are gonna sell more raisins. I've known about the raisin industry's diabolical schemes for a while man, ever since Motorhead worked at that Raisin plant. So, I'm on to you terrible raisin people, dude.

If you want to help me protect our culture from the reach of these foul raisin masters, you can join the cause at my Faceyspace page HERE.