Step Aside, Stupid Groundhog, Hedgehog Day Is Here [Video]
Groundhogs are completely overrated. A few see their shadow, and boom, done for the year. But hedgehogs gotta go fast year-round, so in honor of their work, February 2nd is also officially Hedgehog Day.
Disclaimer: A groundhog (also known as a woodchuck, land beaver, or fat sneaky a**hole) ate my tomato garden two summers ago, and whether it saw its shadow or not, I've had a vendetta against the entire species ever since.
Why is Hedgehog Day the superior holiday? Let me see:
- They gotta go fast. How many formerly-successful gaming franchises were about groundhogs? Zero, zip, nada.
- They hang out with the coolest droid in the galaxy. Any creature that's BFFs with BB-8 deserves its own holiday (relatedly, can BB-8 get his own holiday?).
- Even tough guys can own pet hedgehogs. Who owns pet groundhogs, you ask? Probably nobody, because groundhogs are lawless, tomato-thieving monsters.
With that in mind, it's time to properly celebrate Hedgehog Day. Cheers!