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Pantsless Detroit Man Dies at High Speed While Doing What No One Should Do While Driving

You’ve seen those videos telling you that you shouldn’t text and drive, right? The ones where they show the last text someone sent right before they died in a horrible car crash? This story shows that texting isn’t the ONLY thing that shouldn’t be done while driving.

Sunday morning, a 58-year-old man crashed on an I-75 ramp, apparently while watching porn on his phone. Oh, and he also wasn’t wearing any pants.

It’s suspected he was otherwise occupied with something that’s usually covered by pants, and was doing something while watching porn on his phone.

Okay, it was masturbating. He was more than likely masturbating.

DO NOT DO THIS AT HIGH SPEED ON THE HIGHWAYS AND INTERSTATES!

You think texting takes your eyes off the road for a few seconds? A male orgasm lasts, let’s say, 10 seconds, and during that time, you’re not capable of REALLY paying attention to anything flying by you at high speed.

Thankfully, no one else was involved in the accident, and Detroit police say this is one of the strangest things they’ve ever seen.

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