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Intruder Armed With Weasel Attacks Homeowner

Oh internet. Wilst thou deliver us some serious weirdness today? YEP! In the city of Hoquiam, WA, there was a criminal walking the streets. He was a supervillain of sorts. Like most supervillains he carried a weapon vastly different than a gun. No, it wasn’t a giant freeze ray or a sword made of fire. Nope, this dude was carrying with him a dead weasel… well, a marten technically.

The weasel armed assailant broke into a home to find it’s resident enjoying his evening. Police report that the man asked the intruder why he was carrying a weasel… to which the villain replied “It’s not a weasel… IT’S A MARTEN!” After he defended the genus of the creature, the criminal promptly punched the homeowner in the face. The twisted evil genius fled the scene (marten in hand) and was promptly found by authorities a few streets down arguing with a woman. He refused to give up at gunpoint, so cops unleashed beast-weapons of their own… dogs. The dogs, unlike the marten, were alive and quickly subdued the moron. He was booked on several charges including burglary and assault. No word on what happened to the marten.

[Source: 9 News]

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