Drinking at the casino bar last weekend and was talking to the bartender when she told me this wacked out story. Of course I had to share. I guess this one happened a couple weeks ago, a 24 year old Oklahoma chick named Courtney Marlana Smith goes into a convenience store and says “ give me a pack of Newports.”

So little 19 year old chick working behind the counter says something like “here ya go, $6.25 please.” Well, when Courtney Marlana Smith heard the price she was suppose to pay for a pack of Newport’s, she freaking lost it! Starts screaming F you, F this! That’s too much money for a pack of cigarettes! And then she grabs baseball bat….(apparently this convenience store sold those too)….and started beating the snot out of the convenience store check out girl! Wham! Throws a swing to the gut! Wack! Throws another swing to the shoulder!

Then she lines up the chicks head like a Tea Ball Bat, leans into it, and Ka-boom! Knocked the chicks head clear off her body! Her head went rolling right out the front door of the store, rolls across the parking lot, and ends up coming to a stop at park across the street from the store, where some kids pick it up and start playing kick ball with it! Hahah! Crazy chick that freaked out over the price of smokes was arrested and charged with 2nd degree murder, and decapitation of a human body, and the kids in the park were arrested too.

The cops charged them with first degree felony kickball with a human head! Hahaha! Ok, all that decapitated head stuff didn’t really happen, but a chick dead beat up a convenience store clerk with a baseball bat over the price of a pack of Newport’s! But I thought my version was better!