I typically don't leave my home on Black Friday. Partially from the over-ingestion of turkey and stuffing, but MOSTLY because people that go shopping on Black Friday seem to be F-ING LUNATICS! There, I've said it, and I know you secretly agree with me.

Camping out for a nominal deal on a TV that's probably out-of-date anyway, or to get the latest video game for only $50 instead of $59, when it will be $19 in two months. Seems a bit like lunacy to me, but okay, we're consumers and we want things, that part I get.

But the bitch in the video above with the red coat and black hat who takes away a box from that child? F*** YOU, BITCH! You didn't get there and grab that box, so you think you have the right to just take it from a child? And then to start screaming at the child's mother that she's being offensive and scaring you? Get bent, lady! She should have just punched you in the throat and left you choking on the floor.

Not for the product, whatever the hell it was. But because you took it from a CHILD!

YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM. Technically both of you, for fighting over this stupid thing in front of the kid, but also because you're teaching that little girl that this kind of behaviour is okay!

"Remember that time mommy choked a bitch at Wal-Mart over a toaster? That's when I learned the true meaning of the holidays: Take what's yours, and kill any motherf-er who tries to take it from you!"

Ah, good times.

These are probably the same people you see protesting violence and brutality wherever else they see it, and calling for the disarmament of everyone. "Ban the guns! Stop the violence!"

Now we know why...because YOU don't have the control to NOT shoot someone. Because you take things from children and get into fights over them, to save $5!

I like to save money just as much as the next person...okay, looking at videos like these, maybe not as much as the next person, but I do like to save. But this is freaking ridiculous! We should put a stop to Black Friday because things seem to be getting more and more out of hand every year.

It doesn't stop on Friday, either, people go apeshit all weekend!

Please, businesses...let's try and come up with something a little better for getting people sales prices. Or maybe we fill stores with armed security, and shoot anyone who acts like these people in the videos act. A few executions will probably deter everyone else from acting like freaking animals.

And then we can start up an awesome game show, like in Running Man, where we can watch executions and win big cash prizes!

Or maybe we take all the people who fight on Black Friday, and start up our very own Battle Royale or Hunger Games! That's it! We take all the violent shoppers, place them into the Hunger Games arena, and let them fight it to the death. The winner gets all the stuff on their holiday shopping list for free!

But then, after they get all the stuff, and celebrate the holidays by giving the gifts, they go to prison for murder. Everyone wins!

Who's in?

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