Rogue technology developers debuted separate apps for staring at boobs and measuring masturbating velocity at the Tech Crunch Disrupt conference in San Francisco this weekend, and they pretty much made everyone in the tech world angry.

First, a duo of Australian developers debuted T*tstare (NSFW language), which is literally an application that allows guys to take photos of themselves staring at boobs. The app delivers pics of boobs to users' phones through the app. The developers framed the app in a positive light by suggesting that "looking at breasts is directly linked with a healthy heart." So is aerobic activity, dudes. Take a lap.

A subsequent presentation featured an app that used the built-in accelerometer feature of the iPhone to measure how quickly and how often a user can make rapid, jerking motions. Yeah. This really happened.


boobsmake time for self-lovin'